Unforgiveness is like carrying a heavy backpack filled with rocks – it weighs you down, limits your movement, and eventually causes pain throughout your entire body. It's one of the most self-defeating problems we face, creating a cascade of emotional distress and relationship problems that impact our daily lives.
Why Let Go of Resentment and Unforgiveness?
Here are some examples of the psychological and emotional costs I can expect to pay when I hold on any unforgiveness about anyone or anything whether or not I’m aware of my unresolved distress.
• I continue to feel the psychological pain of the perceived offenses.
• I block healthy communication and potential reconciliation with the "offender."
• I automatically perceive and re-experience similar offenses and injury by others who remind me of the offender.
• I attract similar situations, people, and injuries to myself.
• I give up my power to others to determine how I will feel and respond or react in similar situations in which I experience psychological injury.
• I render myself incapable of ever really knowing and learning from the full truth about the event that damaged the original relationship.
• I take added toxic negativity into my present relationships.
• I isolate myself, more and more, and I prevent or avoid many new relationships.
• I become vulnerable to being spiteful, resentful, and bitter.
• I disrespect myself, devalue myself, or reject myself.
• I block myself spiritually from receiving help and healing from my Higher Source.
• My own human spirit "shrivels up" (contracts) more and more.
The Real Problem
Traditional approaches to dealing with unforgiveness often fall short because they don't address its root cause: the psychological mechanism that creates and maintains it. This leads to a frustrating cycle where even when we think we've let go, the unforgiveness returns, bringing all its negative effects with it.
A Powerful Solution: The BSFF Approach
Podcast Episode #22 above is focused on a paper written by the late Dr Larry Nims, Phd. Dr Nims is the creator of the Be-Set-Free-Fast protocols also known as BSFF. Be-Set-Free-Fast is an acronym for the full title of the program. 'Be' stands for Behavioral and Emotional. 'Set' stands for Symptom Elimination Training. 'Free' stands for, For Resolving Excess Emotion, and 'Fast' stands for Fear, Anger, Sadness, and Trauma.
Taken together, Be-Set-Free-Fast stands for Behavioral and Emotional Symptom Elimination Training For Resolving Excess Emotion, Fear, Anger, Sadness, and Trauma.
Here's a Brief Outline of the 7-Steps of BSFF:
Notice that clearing unforgiveness is a major goal at every level, but especially from Step 4 through Step 7.
Step 1: With your conscious mind, notice the problem or issue. As you do, measure the SUD level of your discomfort. SUD = Subjective Units of Distress/Discomfort (Scale of 1 to 10 or mild-medium-strong)
Step 2: Silently or out loud, state each problem and/or underlying belief that is related to the issue. After each statement, think, speak, visualize or write your cue word that you chose in the preparation phase.
Step 3 Treat all of the problems and underlying core beliefs related to the issue that you identified in the preparation phase and have time for in your session.
Step 4. Treat the Stoppers. Also known as processing blocks and objecting Parts of Self (You may need to work with Protectors as per IFS)
Step 5. Clear up any remaining anger, judgment, criticism, and unforgiveness towards anyone involved in any of the problems you have treated.
Step 6. Clear up all the anger, judgment, criticism and unforgiveness you have towards yourself for any problem you have treated during the session.
Step 7. The Spiritual Cleanup (optional, but recommented) Depending on your spiritual beliefs or God concept, you may feel the need to clear up any anger you feel toward God/Higher Power
Ready to learn more about emotional freedom? Contact me or other practitioner trained in BSFF to start your journey toward lasting peace. My Email address is support@serenitycreationsonline.com If you are familiar with this type of work and the cost of unforgiveness, please share your experience in a comment below.
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