What to do when you are hated ?

When you have been in the marriage physically and that is all . And have ignored the cries for help from your wife and now she is DONE where do you start?

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Jan 02, 2016
So true...
by: Don

In my faith, marriage is a sacred thing. I am told to do the following:

Rejoice in the truth
Be patient
Be kind
Bear all things
Hope all things
Believe all things
Endure all things
And never fail at any of these things.

Now, the difference between faith and codependency in this case is to not pursue, manipulate, or desperately try to make something happen on my own; but to "hold on with an open hand", turn it over to my Higher Power (whom I choose to call Jesus), be honest about how I feel (instead of playing mind games), make amends where possible, and do the next right thing according to His will and teaching. All of these things happen to be consistent with a good recovery program.

All my best for the New Year to you and everyone else brave enough to struggle through the challenges presented by loving in a world full of wounded people.


Dec 31, 2015
to be loved
by: Anonymous

Don, what you wrote was right on! Absolutely perfect.

To feel the hate of some one you depended onto love you is such a gruesome feeling, there is many different variables on how it will effect a person.

i know what it feels like, when you trust a person, that has contempt for you. it is so painful, i might compare it to hell.

Jan 03, 2014
Lessons Learned?
by: Don


Sometimes all you can do it take a lesson(s) from the relationship, get help, say your goodbyes, grieve the loss, and move on.

A relationship is like a plant, it requires nurturing, sunshine, attention, water... or else it begins to wilt. Wilting is a sign that the plant is dying. If you wait too long, it dies and there is no reviving it.

If you want to give it another try, make it known to your partner but then accept their decision when they make it clear to you.

Every relationship serves a purpose - find out what was the purpose of this one. Was it an exercise in patience? Was it to learn when to let go? Was it an opportunity to experience what you don't want so you will know the red flags? Did it connect you with unfinished grief issues? Etc.

Take the lessons forward and get counseling if you can't sort it out yourself.

Good luck to you,
Don Carter

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