by Kimmy Jo
I am in awe as I read about myself in all of these descriptions and explanations...and I find a sense of clarity descending upon my soul the more I continue to absorb what is on this website!!! Hallelujah!!! =) I am a firm believer that once a problem can be identified then there is the possibility of changing things...
and I knew already that I was codependent although, I have made some progress but as soon as I think I am getting a grip on these issues, something happens again- a powerful, all consuming emotional reaction that I know in my head is the wounded inner child in me rearing her head again in a way that is totally inappropriate and alot of the time, not even related to what is going on in the real world of my life today, comes bolting out of my soul raging and attacking everything in its path...(breathe) ....I just dont know what to do to stop the wounds of my past from wreaking havok on my life today!
I am in a relationship with a wonderful man for once, who of course has issues of his own (surprise surprise) but they are nothing compared to the relationships I have had in the past...and I see the same patterns trying to emerge that have always been there now...and I dont want to be like this anymore! I dont want this relationship to end up just like the others have...I believe this one is totally worth trying to save from these devastating patterns I have had all of my life!
I just dont know what to do next...Then there's the even bigger issue of my children and what I have created within their souls after years of unmet needs that they have had to adapt to...I want to stop this cycle now!!! I want my children to have a chance at some stability and some happiness in their lives and in the relationships they find themselves in throughout their lives...and right now I am really feeling like I have totally set them up for a lifetime of turmoil and chaos and misery by passing these codependency issues and abandonment issues on to them...
but now that I am becoming more aware of what is really going on inside of me I want to stop this misery from multiplying and continuing on through them and in them...I just dont know how...I dont know where of how to begin to fix things so that they may be spared what I have been through in my dysfunctional life.
I will definitely be continuing to read the information on this website and I am so grateful to have found it and would love to hear some feedback from others who are going through similar issues.