What do I do now?
Everything is crashing down all at once. I was first told that I was codependent two years ago but didn't quite believe the diagnosis. I kept saying to myself that it is my husband with the problem, why am I the one being labeled as codependent and "dysfunctional".
My husband has a gambling problem. I swear that he has narcissistic personality disorder as well...he has turned our family life upside down for the last 5+ years. Our teenage son is now acting out...he's been diagnosed as depressed, but is very angry, aggressive, and has attempted suicide two times in the last couple of months.
I feel lost...and weak. My husband is gambling again and I swore that if it ever happened again we (the kids and I)would be gone. I feel disgusted with myself because I have yet again let him manipulate me. He told me (after being caught gambling) that he did it because he feels bad about himself.
He claims to have voices telling him to gambling, lie, and behave in erratic ways. He goes on to say that he is a loser and he wouldn't blame me for leaving him but without me he would either be in jail or dead. He plays on the fact that I am a naturally kind soul...I care for everyone, never want any hurt, harm, or danger to come to anyone. In the meantime I am hurting...not only physically but emotionally.
I feel weak...drained is a better description. What do I do now? I feel like I don't have the energy or know how to do anything more that accept the situation as I always have...