Transition to New Friends

by Debra
(San Francisco, CA)


So, I am unmediated and going through the painful process of 'ditching' my old inappropriate friends. That means I don't contact them anymore. Of course, they are not calling me.

The slate is clean. The weekends are bare. My goodness I will have to start running again just to keep my endorphins going. I have NO idea how to make new friends. I only know that it is hard enough to get up in the morning and go to sleep at night and do it all over the next day. I am relatively productive. I go to school full time and work part time. I am depressed.

Yet, I know that my "friends" are incapable of coming through for me for the smallest thing such as picking up the phone and calling ME as I have always called on them and called them up on the phone! So, now that the deck is cleared and I am feeling the pain and I am going to ACA meeting regularly what's the next step? How does one make friends, meet prospective friends?


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Dec 22, 2010
Cutting away the dead wood
by: Anonymous

hi Debbie,
congratulations for moving on and away from the takers, who are little more then emotional vampires.Don`t worry, friendship will happen naturally,if you are to needy and desperate to find friends, you will again attract abusive people,so try to resist forming inappropriate friendships .It`s sounds cliched, but you must have a relationship with yourself,be on your own, feel the loneliness inside,feel your disconectedness then grieve it, grieve it like you`ve never grieved before. Continue at your meetings and begin to release that pain you talked about. You`ll be amazed,once you start to heal and change your pathology at an unconscious level you will attract healthier relationships. Remember you deserve the best. well done for taking the first steps to a happier way of life.
C. (Europe)

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