The Iceberg Model of abandonment is fine for the situations described. Personally I found I could see no similarities between my experience and the model. I realized that this is because I was consciously abandoned. One way of imagining this is to see the line defining abandonment rising as I grew older.
I certainly experienced many of the abandonment messages from my parents in my early years, but at 7 I was physically and consciously abandoned. By the time I was 8 the line had topped the Iceberg and I was totally abandoned and I knew it.
My question is - if the whole of the self is abandoned is it all false self, even the conscious self? Where do shame and contempt, the natural reactions to abandonment fit into this model?