(Dumont, NJ)

My daughter is 21 and has been drinking behind my back since she was 14. She now has a pretty good tolerance for alcohol. I do believe she has a problem as there are many warning signs. I try to warn her but I have always come off as a "nagger".

She went out to a lounge on Saturday night, slept over a friends house and when she got home on Sunday morning I began to nag about the drinking after finding bottles of wine and vodka behind her bed. Things got out of control very quickly. We got into a huge fight and it got physical and I told her she had to leave and she did. She is now staying with her boyfriend at his parents house.

She lives good at my house, doesn't pay any bills and pretty much comes and goes as she pleases. She does work, has a car and pays her own bills on time. So with every nag, she says she is very responsible and insist she doesn't have a problem. But to me, I see her as functioning alcoholic.

She knows I am hurt and I know she wants to come back home but I just feel if I allow her back in I will be enabling her and things will remain the way they've been. Not really sure what to do as I know she has no money saved and basically spends most of her earnings on paying her bills although she does spend money on shopping and other unnecessary items and of course there's the alcohol and partying.

I've spoken to her about moving out a while ago, and even though she agrees she wants to move and get her own place, there are no signs of her taking that seriously. I'm really hurt and stressed out over this.

If anyone has gone through anything similar please share.

Thank you.

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