Thoughts & Comments: On what to expect/how to deal with someone with abandonement issues?
(Cape Town, SA)
I have recently been getting to know a guy better that was abandoned - his father left his mother, older sister and himself when he was very young.
One evening I bluntly asked him about his father and he responded quite calmly and matter-of-factly, "I dont know. He left when I was 4. I don't care about him." When i extended my sympathies and care he accepted and appreciated it and said that I didnt need to worry as he was very small when it happened so he doesnt remember much. He is an extremely level-headed, stable and easy going person - its like nothing gets him down! I didnt feel any hesitation or a "back off vibe" from him when I broached the subject either.
Since I've grown up in a home where my parents were together (still are) and were always there for me I feel a little as if I need to be aware and willing to understand somehow. Prepared? Haha!:)
If anyone has any experience in relationships with an abandoned person or has a past of abandonment I would really love and appreciate your perspective and feedback!