My mom is 82. She has enabled (to the point of going homeless) my youngest brother his entire life. When we were all younger it wasn't really my problem, I'd tell her about her problem and she would look at me like I was heartless. Now that shes elderly, I help her with food, meds, etc as much as I can because shes old and has created this monster and I can't bear to watch her be abused by my brother. I've reported him to the police, she protects him. She lies and says everything is fine. NOW, she is on the verge of being evicted (he lives with her in between drug binges) and I AM SUPPOSED TO FIND THEM A PLACE TO LIVE? I am 50 and having many health issues, I have 3 grown children and grandchildren that I would love to enjoy. I cannot afford to rent her a place, she is on subsidized housing. I offered for my mother to move in with me and my husband but NOT my brother. She refuses to even admit that he does drugs. What the heck am I supposed to do? Leave my 82 year old mother to die from stress, malnutrition, abuse? This is too much for me. None of my other siblings are willing to help in any way. They all (conveniently) live in different towns and either flat out don't care or say that I am taking on this stress willingly. I realize that but what else can I do? I'm at a loss. My husband FUMES at the thought of her living with us...... SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE :(


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Jul 10, 2017
Yes, there is help...
by: Don Carter

Beverly is correct, Alanon is the place for you to get the help you need. Your mom is an 82 year old enabler - which means she is a survivor. It also means there is nothing you can do for her except become her enabler by enabling her enabling... maybe at the cost of your marriage.

Turn you mom over to God and please reach out to Alanon for yourself. Find a meeting and attend 6 CONSECUTIVE meetings before you decide anything about it. "Consecutive" means if you miss one you have to start over. :)


Jul 07, 2017
Try Al-Anon
by: Beverly

Have you tried going to Al-Anon? There are meetings everywhere. It would be very helpful. You can do a Google search for the meeting list.

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