Six Years Sober and Still Wanting to Drink

by Self Pity Patty

Hi-have an unexpected day off today (too much time on my hands). I have been in recovery for six years after drinking for 25 years. I am in therapy and over the summer did EMDR for post traumatic stress. My sponsor, therapist and psychiatrist are all on vacation. My mother is a mentally ill, perpetually unavailable person that I cannot talk to about anything. There is really nothing in particular bothering me. I have a good job that I like (teacher), a husband that I love, a fairly stable financial situation, etc. I sponsor 2 women and go to 3 or 4 meetings a week. I pray twice a day minimum as well as working on the 10th step. So, why do I want to drink?

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Aug 25, 2011
by: Don Carter

You're correct...if you just let her go she'll do what she knows how to do...recreate feelings of abandonment, shame, and contempt.

But if you learn how to look inside (and sometimes this takes help) and look for her, listen to her, find out what she needs to heal, become her friend and daily strength, give her time, attention, affection, and direction she can heal and learn something other than Chaos.

Left unattended, she can only keep doing what she knows how to do. You know that saying "Keep doing what you are doing and you'll keep getting what you are getting". She needs you to teach her something new, so she and YOU can get something new. It's called Re-parenting, because you have to become her healthy parent.

Checkout our new Recovery Oasis for more about this. (click the Recovery Oasis! link on the left navigation panel)

Take Care & God Bless your Journey!

Aug 25, 2011
Six Years
by: Anonymous

I get it. The second we step off the roller coaster of chaos with nothing to do buy twiddle our thumbs, we want to step back into our dysfunction. It's as if that child in us (adult child/inner child/whatever you want to call it) is looking for her old hangout; the place that made her feel most comfortable -- chaos. Sometimes I have to just trust recovery 'blindly.' Like a pilot flying in heavy fog. He has only his instruments to keep him on course. He may feel that his plane can't possibly be that low or that banked, but the instruments say so. The second he mistrusts his instruments and relies on his own perceptions, he crashes his plane. Sometimes I have to ignore what I'm feeling and put myself on autopilot. I blindly follow recovery until I'm out of the fog. And the fog won't last long. Just stay on course and you'll be out soon.

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