Self Worth vs. Illusions of Self Hatred
I just realized that the pain of abandonment, the tendency to try to control my environment so I won't feel the pain out of mere survival, the lack of basic human needs being met as a child is separate from the value I have as a person! I can't attach shame or self hatred or self loathing or beat myself up for things I have unconsciously done out of the habit of survival.
If I agree, as the Iceberg Model so clearly illustrates, that who I am, my true self, is separate from the pain, the shame, and the resentment of it all, then I can take responsibility for some of the impact my pain, shame, resentment may have had on myself and others but it doesn't mean I am any less valuable because I acted on creative survival skills to get my basic human needs met as a child. AND!!! If I chose to take responsibility for the impact of all this, including forgiving the authors of it all, doesn't that only increase my integrity and quality as a person?!?!
Hmmmm.... interesting stuff!!!!