Please help me help my 5 year old daughter

I recently split from my boyfriend of 4 years. My five year old daughter called my boyfriend her stepdad and they were/are very close. She is devastated. The nature of his relationship with her for the future is uncertain. I could really use some advise on how best to talk with her about this situation. She is angry with me and my ex because she hoped we would marry and we'd produce a sibling for her. She misses him very much. She has been really hard on herself since the split saying things like "I'm not a good ice skater/swimmer/etc." I see this as the "there is something wrong with me" manifesting. How can I help her see that she was not the cause of our split yet make it known that she plays a very important role in our family? Any advise would be much appreciated!
-Worried momma

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Mar 09, 2012
The Iceberg Model...
by: Don

I suggest if you really want to know what's going on with her and how to help, go watch the Iceberg Presentation by copying and pasting the following link into your browser. (It explains how and why a 5 year old can get it no other way - the concept is Idealization.)

Just copy and paste the link into your browser. There more information there than I can share with you here. Check it out - you may want to watch it a few times.


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