No Guts, Kay

by Kay
(New Jersey)

Well, last night after more than two years to of gathering 'guts', we have asked my now 32 yr. old son to leave; he left, stating he deserved it and it is ok; we cried but felt relieved. After my older son, (who came from NY to help), came home around 7:30 pm after dropping him off at his requested place from where a friend would take him, we talked: that reality has not hit yet; he did not accept money my older son offered-- that he had $40.00; that we needed to stay strong for calls that will start coming.

Well the calls have started- first one at 6:30am;he told me when his friend saw his bag he told him he could not stay with him and put him in hotel near our home, using his $40 and some from his pocket; in the last call, (about 40 minutes ago), he asked if he could come back because he misses the family and his dog. It took all I had to say no. Then I started writing this to beg for strength from some stronger soul; last night I gave him list of shelters and an Oxford House list; told him he still had three hours in the hotel room to make calls for a place and offered to take him there.

ANY guidence will help...thank you

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Dec 07, 2012
by: Anonymous

It will save YOUR sanity and it will save YOUR life.
Love, Terry - a grateful member of ALANON for 20 years.

Oct 15, 2012
Tough Choices
by: Don

Hi Kay,

I hope you are still holding strong for both of your sakes. I know it goes against your instinct. But remember who has the choice...he does. You can help him by letting him sit with the consequences of his drinking or using.

If he makes those calls and takes action, then certainly you can support him in that by giving him rides and such. One rule of thumb if he is taking action - do not do anything he can and should be doing for himself.

Please keep us informed,

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