New to this.

by Chilli
(Canada)

I have just found out that I have this, I would never have known. How would I. No idea that my mom working so much and being out of town affected me so, that my Dad was just a body on the sofa. My 2 older brothers never cared. In grade 5 all the friends I had made the year before ( had moved in grade 4) ) turned on me. My teacher that year could not deal with my learning problems and just left me in the hall all day. I wont even start with High school. I have always had the problem with being clingy, and attaching to friends ways to fast. I can't keep friends or a job, I aways lose them. I work hard and am a good person but just come on so hard. To this day I have one good friend and my husband. I have come to find it effects my 2 kids too. They are suffering from me not be able to make connections. They have no friends out side of school, because the other parents do not like me. I am trying too hard to make friends that push them away. I had been working on the PAC at the school and have been pushed out there now too. I am always in a constant need of validation, wanting acceptance and Needing reassurance. Being pushed out of the PAC, and seeing that people who I thought where my friends not stick up for me, has really hurt. I would have have done it for them! I would have had their back. I aways feel alone and worthless, and a failure.

Now that I know where some of my problems come from I am hoping I can deal with this and in the end make the friends I deserve.


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