My husband and I have both been enabling our daughters! How do we stop?
by Joyce Baumia
We have two adult daughters whom we have been enabling finacially!We have given them money,bought them furniture, appliances ect. which we never had asked them to pay us back! They were gifts! Now we are in a position where we are not always able to provide them with these things! We are seniors and both have health problems to deal with! Cost of the meds alone take a good bite out of our income, so now we give no interest loans to our daughters! Since we have been so good hearted in the past we have forgiven many of the loans which have never been repaid! but Now I feel our enabling is taking it's toll on our happiness! We are hurt and angry by their behaviors. We ask several times for them to pay us back when they can. But unfortunatley they never seem to have it to pay us back! Curious! since they are able to buy new phones, jewelry, clothing, fast food, excetera,so there is nothing left to give us! Well we will continue loving our girls, but for the finacial part, "Bank Mom and Dad" is no longer in business! When we offer advice, they say that they are adults and can make thier own decisions! OK! then! We will let them!, but when they fall on thier butts, they better learn to pick themselves up with their boot straps because we won't be there to help!