MY DAUGHTER IS A STUPID OUT OF CONTROL TWEAKER

by DENISE
(CALFORINA)

MY 25 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER ONLY CHILD IS A TOTAL DISSAPOINTMENT, I HAVE BEEN THERE FOR HER WHEN EVERY SHE NEEDED ME, SO WHEN I TOLD MY LOVE OF MY LIFE THAT I WILL MOVE OUT BEC HE WANTED HER TO MOVE OUT BEC SHE WOULDN'T HELP OUT AND DO SOMETHING WITH HER LIFE LIKE WORK GO TO SCHOOL, I TOLD HIM THAT I CANT JUST LEAVE HER OUT ON THE STREETS HE WANTED ME TO CHOOSE I CHOSE HER, SO WHAT DOSE SHE DO SHE WONT DO NOTHING BUT DRUGS, SHE THINKS HER JOB IS SELLING DRUGS WHEN I LOST MY JOB AND HAD TO CLAIM UNEMPLOYEMENT IN 09 SHE TOLD ME SHE WOULD HELP ME OUT SHE HAS GIVEN ME NO HELP AT ALL NOTHING BUT PEOPLE COMING IN AND OUT OF MY HOME AT ALL HOURS OF THE NIGHT, STEELING FROM ME, AND WHEN SHE DOSE MAKE MONEY SHE LAUGHS IN MY FACE AND WONT PAY FOR ANYTHING AT ALL EVERYTHING I GET FROM UNEMP IS SPENT ON BILLS I CANT EVEN GET FOOD SOME MONTHS, I CANT REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I WENT TO A GROCERY STORE, THE FINAL STRAW WAS THE OTHER NIGHT SHE ACCIDENTALLY SHOT HER OWN DOG BEC SHE HAD A GUN AND WAS ACTING LIKE MISS BIG SHIT AND IT WENT OFF IN HER JACKET, IT HIT THE SIDE OF OUR DOGS NECK AND IS NOW STUCK THERE, SHE CAME UP WITH OVER 200 DOLLARS TO TAKE HIM TO THE VET WHICH ONLY COST 160.00 AND THEN MADE ME GIVE HER ANOTHER 40 ON TOP OF IT, NOW REMEMBER I AM TRYING TO MOVE US TO A BETTER LOCATION AND BETTER HOME HER HER TO HAVE HER OWN ROOM AND FOR OUR DOG TO HAVE A BACK YARD TO PLAY IN, OKAY AND ALL MONTH I HAVE BEEN TELL HER THAT SHE NEEDS TO EITHER COME UP WITH 250 EVEN 100 TO HELP ME OUT WITH THE NEW MOVE AND SHE HAS GIVEN ME A TOTAL OF 7 DOLLARS TO HELP. TODAY I ALMOST LOST THE PERFECT HOME BEC I NEEDED TO GIVE HIM SOMETHING TO HOLD THE PROPERTY 50 DOLLARS SHE WOULDN'T EVEN GIVE ME 50 DOLLARS TO HELP , SO I TOOK MY LAST BIT OF MONEY I HAD AND HAD HIM HOLD IT FOR ME, WELL SINCE I GOT BACK SHE SMOKED HALF OF MY ONLY PACK OF CIGS, AND GAVE SOME GUY 100 DOLLARS TO GIVE HER A TATTOO, KNOWING THAT WE NEED TP CAT FOOD DOG FOOD, FOOD ECT, I LOST IT I TOLD HER TO GET OUT AND SHE STARTED BREAKING MY THINGS, AND HITTING ON ME, SHE HAD BEEN PUT IN JAIL A YEAR AGO FOR CHOKING ME UNTIL I LOST CONS I AM AFRAID OF HER HER OWN DOG IS AFRAID OF HER, SHE NEEDS TO JUST LEAVE ME ALONE ALL SHE DOSE IS USE ME AND STEEL FROM ME SHE LETS HER FRIENDS EVEN TAKE FROM ME I REALLY JUST WANT TO FORGET SHE IS EVEN MY KID ITS THAT BAD HELP PLZ WHAT SHOULD I DO?

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Nov 17, 2017
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hurt
by: Anonymous

My 28 is same and living at home with baby im afraid I will Never see my grand daughter my other daughter and 9yr Old moved back for couple weeks because of separation she picks on him cops were called but my other daughter didn't tell cops she threatened her and picked on son i was in room comforting him after the cops left my daughter and 9 yr Old left i been Hurt and should have Said something He thinks i don't love or want him here that's not True but her behavior out of control and i know Law allows mom to have Say over baby and i Will lose grand daughter but want my grandson back home i love all my Family and being ripped apart because of her outrages and Drug use

Jan 11, 2017
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no more abuse
by: Anonymous

get your money and things together and start over somewhere without her. move out, leave her there. the police will take care of making her leave when the time comes. you can't help someone like her. she isn't your daughter any more. protect yourself and stop wasting your life trying to 'help' her. don't help anyone who does nothing to help themselves.

May 29, 2016
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Tweakers from both sides
by: Long time

I done it. It makes me an irritable monster.ive spent a lot of money,

The girl you love will never stop untiL you cut her off. As long as you continue supporting her.I hate to say it but you are killing her. But you know this. You spend your time googling how to help. You get a lot of advice. Dopers will tell you keep helping her.Im a mental health counselor I tell you stop right now. It may work,it,it may not. She can decide to stop. She may die. Protect your sanity and give it up. I have never met you,I do know your future.
.you know what to do but either u r scared of her reactions or you need to meet people whe can help.not counselors...people who have been through what you are going thrrough now. You know this.if you spend one more day you are the enabler and will lose your daughter either way. Your only option is to get rid of her. It will be painful. But you may get a few days without drama,tweaking and strangers in your house who you don't know. They could rape and kill you in your sleep.please take care of you.
Picnic

Nov 05, 2015
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Tweakers daughter
by: Anonymous

Give her tough love. Do not help her and kick her out. She will have to learn the hard way. If she learns, she will appreciate you for everything you have done. In the mean time, let her fall.

Oct 20, 2015
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Carl Jung
by: Don Carter

Carl Jung was a student of Sigmund Freud until he split off and went his own way in helping to pioneer early psychology. The found of AA, Bill W., went to see him for help with his alcoholism before he founded AA with Dr. Bob.

World Renowned Carl Jung told Bill W. that he has seen only one thing work effectively for someone with an addiction as bad as his... a spiritual transformation. In other words, a miracle was needed!

Ever since then, in 12-step halls all over the world, miracles like Bill's have taken place over, and over, and over again.

Your daughter might not be in one of those halls yet, but then again she might. Even if not, you can go to a 12-step hall for family members (Alanon, Families Anonymous, Naranon, Codependents Anonymous, etc.) and seek your own miracle. Once you get into recovery yourself, it increases the chances of your loved one getting into recovery. (But you have to do it for you.)

And if you REALLY want to put wheels on her recovery -- watch the new movie "the War Room" so you can learn the most powerful intervention possible for your loved one. What have you got to lose?

Blessings and Best wishes,
Don

Jun 08, 2015
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Thanks for sharing.
by: Anonymous

I also have a daughter on meth who had stopped for two years. A little bit of tough love never hurt anyone. People can only change if they choose to and the best time to be there is when they have truly made advances toward that change. There's no easy answer and every solution doesn't work for everyone. You just cannot give up, continue to educate yourself, get help and stand your ground as well as keep your faith.

Oct 31, 2014
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To Patti
by: Anonymous

Please explain what I should do exactly. My beautiful, sweet, precious 23 year old daughter is now hooked on meth.She got a job as a caretaker last summer that covered her rent but nothing else. She'd moved in there with her 25 year old boyfriend, but soon kicked him out after discovering a new love. There was another caretaker, a forty year old man that quickly targeted her as prey and got her hooked on meth. He was fired on drug charges and told he should not be on the property. Soon after, I suspected that my daughter was allowing him to stay with her in her apartment, and he was, until he got arrested again. I noticed huge changes in my daughters personality and weight loss too.After he was in jail, she asked for help and told me he'd been shooting her with meth and she'd been using everyday. I took her to the doctor, encouraged treatment, helped her financially, and then, he got out of jail, came back in the picture, and she shut out her entire family and all of her friends. I have been knocking on her door, calling, hired an interventionist, but nothing worked. She would not let us in. One day, she'd left her window open with no screen, I pulled back the curtains, and there she was, syringe on the table, needle marks in her arms, and that disgusting predator in there with her. I called the police because I was concerned for her safety. Her caretaker job just made it easy for her to use and do minimal just to get high. She had just turned down a job I helped her get, and continued to borrow from family. This guy is homeless, no car, no license, no family, and to me, clearly using her. She was fired and told to move because the guy was not to be there and she'd been warned.I have been there several times and she turns me away. We have always been very close, with lots of love between us. But since she has started using meth, shes a totally different person and wants nothing to do with those that love her. I felt I had to force change by getting her fired. I couldn't make it easy for her to continue using there. When she'd asked me for help, she told me she needed to get out of there and away from the meth and heroin using crowd she was spending time with. No one has heard from her. No one has a valid number for her. I'm so worried, I'm sick but everyone says she'll need to hit rock bottom before she'll want help. I've made my daughter homeless,and I feel bad, but she knows we would have helped her move and I have treatment lined up when shes ready. Was I wrong? Now neither one of them have a job or any money. I have no idea what will happen. I'm hoping she'll call someone soon and ask for help.

Oct 30, 2014
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Resurrection from meth addiction
by: Anonymous

Let her go...It's very difficult, but you must.
She is not longer your daughter, just a user, liar, and out of her mind junkie. As a junkie, she feels no remorse, no guilt, no love, her only concern is where to get the next fix. Don't make it easy for her to be a junkie. Hold on to your self respect, your good nature,yourself. Say goodbye to your Junkie girl. She is not the cute and beautiful girl you gave birth too. Drugs change people. She is gone...It's painful and heartbreaking but you cannot enable her. In a way, you are a junkie right along with her, except you are sober, sad, and heartbroken, left feeling everything...all the pain, worry, and craziness she cannot feel. Separate, mourn, grieve and cry the death of your daughter. Hold onto the hope that someday, she'll resurrect and come back from the dead.

Jan 25, 2012
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It's all in the spirit
by: Patti

Your responsible engagement and informed support will serve your circumstances and your daughters' recovery.

Severe addictions take a long time to resolve. The addiction to substances, including meth, doesn't occur overnight. It can't be resolved overnight. 'Substance use disorder' occurs in tandem with family system dysfunction. Still, with responsible engagement, informed support... and most important HOPE; addicted individuals and their families can and do recover. It happens... all the time.

People living with the challenge of addiction are not "stupid", nor are they "bums". Labels and name-calling of a family member, or other person living with a substance use disorder, will only serve to delay recovery by increasing stress, thus increasing the likelihood of perpetuated drug use in attempt to avoid the stress- aka,'self medicating'. The result is increased risk of harm to the drug dependent individual, and increasing anxiety in the family system -a vicious cycle repeated.

"Faith makes things possible...not easy".

May the grace, comfort and wisdom of God light your way...


Jan 24, 2012
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Consider yourself lucky!
by: Anonymous

I have two crazy meth addict daughters who are trying as hard as they can to ruin my life and make me a jobless, homeless bum like them. With God's help, I can endure this too.

Jun 12, 2011
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Moderators Note:
by: Don Carter

It is okay to have strong feelings and strong opinions. But it is NOT okay to be belittling and abusive here.

Please tone it down and keep the dialog respectful. For the safety of this forum I will delete comments and ban commentators who demonstrate an unwillingness to do so.

Don Carter, Moderator

Jun 10, 2011
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Response to Anonymous
by: Patti

Interesting to me, (and, hugely, incorrect by the way), that you assume I have no "real world" experience in the trenches of addiction. I have 15 years experience. Not saying there have not been times that I didn’t want to just lay down and wave the white flag of “give the hell up”. Point is… we didn’t. We just keep pushing on…doing the best we can…one day at a time, while seeking education about “all” aspects of addiction, and practicing (a lot of trial and a shitload of error) those things that support “his” problem solving skill set and increase our coping skill set.

AS parents of addiction-challenged sons/daughters we are all capable of doing better and better, little by little, through seeking the support, education and encouragement required to sustain energy levels/resolve. The road to sustainable recovery for the addicted individual, and peace for those who love them, is typically a very long one. There’s no guarantee that there won’t be relapse or even death in the journey for our addicted kids. But, I’m grateful that we have had the sensitivity and sensibility and heart not to trash our kid.

The intent of my comment was to raise awareness and increase empathy/sensitivity regarding the spread of stigma via trash talking/and disrespecting those who are battling for their very lives due to their addiction challenge and/or mental health challenge. Even if it's your own kid, that doesn’t make it okay to assassinate their self-esteem through verbal abuse on a public forum…or anywhere else for that matter –and behind their back -no less. Pretty sad stuff…That toxic-spirited energy needs rehabbing toward seeking awareness about self and engaging resources and tools for improved coping. It can be done. It starts with some faith in self and others…Even when the circumstances seem anything but hopeful, it's critical to stay engaged in a responsible way.

An example of stigmatizing commentary/perspectives can be better illustrated by simply "looking up" (right now) at the title of the post. "That" is an example of a decision to put "out there", into a public forum, a spirit that "no one" needs to be exposed to. None of us want to see that garbage.

Moderation, restraint...self-control. Just sayin'. And...for the record. I know how hard it is to parent a child with addiction...but really, for pete's sake...At a minimum... words such as "stupid" and "out of control tweaker" as description of ones own daughter?! I don't care how mad or frustrated you are as a parent -That is unacceptable. A person who decides/chooses to type that out on their computer keyboard had plenty opportunity to apply the brakes and rethink/reframe what they wanted to express. Someone exhibiting that level of lack of restraint has some serious emotional issues in terms of coping -mostly hurting themselves and their child in the process.

Godspeed Anonymous…I wish you and your addicted loved one increasing health, peace and wellbeing in your journey.

Jun 09, 2011
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Wrap your brain around this ?????
by: Anonymous

Really ! I'll tell ya what doc , you try living with a real addict then if you still think your advice is sound that would be one thing , but a book learned , egamacated know it all don't cut it. You are probably one of those people that would fall apart before the first 24 hrs. passed trying to cope with all of the insanity . What a dope !

Mar 25, 2011
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Wrap your brain around this, then do the right thing.
by: Patti


Current evidence-based CLINICAL studies -You know, "clinical"? Look up the word if unclear about the meaning. In fact, it’s a good, healthy idea for us all to put down the remote and the cheeseburgers and take in some knowledge. It "don't" hurt a bit. I promise ;0)

"Clinical experts report that perspectives associated with the "tough love movement" (from the dark ages), as well as hatefulness, anger, and cold-shouldering toward the addict is counter productive and harmful.

"Clinical experts", as in those fellers and ladies who are really intelligent -research scientists, physicians, psychologists, neuroscientists.You know...Them thar' college edge-a-ma-kated folk and really,experienced people in the field of brain and behavioral health? It's these folks who,like, study the outcomes of different treatment/recovery approaches/processes of addicts. You know,"addicts". As in, "substance dependent" "substance use disordered" people…(or "stupid out of control tweakers" as Denise seems to prefer to name-call her daughter-her daughter who struggles and suffers and who desires desperately to be healthy and to live her life in better peace, hope and health.Sadly she has no responsible support. This, of course, just an assumption on my part; a reasonable one though, I believe, based on the fact that momma Denise would actually take the time to go on a "public site" and physically type "my daughter is a "stupid" and out of control "tweaker".

"CURRENT" clinical studies show that non-confrontational, non-judgmental, responsibly compassionate, consistently encouraging structured support, with realistic expectations and healthy boundaries offer the best odds for the addicted daughter, son, family member, friend, co-worker etc...to engage their own empowerment for change, health, recovery....peace...LIFE! Makes sense "don't" it? *smirk*.

Studies show it’s damaging to write off a loved one. “Ah..Just let’em “hit bottom” and learn their lessons"…Kick’em to the curb…" "Any help is enabling them”. He’s/She’s a lost cause". "Just take care of yourself and pray for your daughter".

All of these are examples of the WRONG perspective and actions! These kinds of beliefs and actions WILL make things worse. Worse for the addict, worse for the parent, worse for everyone, eventually. And just FYI? “Worse” can and does include the “death” of the addicted individual

Get educated. Learn the facts. There is plenty of supportive information available at NO cost for you - Support groups for you to attend. Check out CRAFT (Community family and reinforcement training) It works. Lives and families are saved in these investments. So DO IT!!! Do it for the sake of your sons and daughters lives and for the sake of your own health and spirit/soul. NEVER GIVE UP ON ANYONE WITH ADDICTION. Keep taking steps to advocate responsibly and compassionately.
You owe it to your sons and daughters...

Mar 25, 2011
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Wrap your brain around this, then do the right thing
by: Anonymous

From an addiction professional(a really good one):

"Where there is life there is hope". What this statement means to me is that it’s important that we never allow ourselves to become so jaded that we write people off as lost causes.

As a treatment professional who has witnessed the recovery process hundreds of times, I can promise you that anyone can overcome addiction. Even when the professionals, family members and even the addicted person have lost all hope, recovery can and does happen –sometimes when you least expect it.

Skip the “tough love,” get informed, keep hope alive, and take action to support change."


Mar 24, 2011
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You did the right thing !!
by: Anonymous

Bless your heart, and realize that YOUR life is valuable to you. Take the necessary steps to gain some peace and tranquility in your life. Maybe you should find a place for the dog and cat because it sounds like you really can't afford to feed yourself, much less numerous pets. Get a place that you can afford, and don't worry about paying more for accomodations for a dog. It would be nice if you could get back with the love of your life, now that you're not going to be enabling your daughter anymore. Seek counseling as soon as you can. Some colleges offer programs that are based on income, this is very important!

I'm sure you're heartbroken, but at the same time you have obviously "snapped" and taken some sort of control of your own life. Your daughter will be forced to figure things out on her own, as you move on with yours. Once you realize that you did the best thing you could have done for her, then you will find peace within yourself. She will thank you one day.

I have learned this week that my son, 32, is hooked on porn and meth. He is dealing meth as a living for his family. He has a 15 year old autistic son whom he never calls or sees. He married a girl that was pregnant with another man's baby and now she is 6 months old, and has a 9 year old brother. Now she's pregnant again, and he's doing this ? I will turn him in myself, and if that girl doesn't get my grandkids out of that situation, then she will suffer the consequences as well. ZERO toleration. He goes to prison, she will get some jail time, and the kids will go to foster care (I will not raise them, they are not mine and I don't know her well) but I will not sit around and let drugs interfere in their lives. they will be better off with families that are functional.

I will not allow them to come live with me, I will not pay their bills, and I will not give them money. I give the kids birthday and christmas gifts, as well as them, but it stops there. This is their problem, not mine. If they did live with me and I was treated with disrespect in any way, OUT they would go, so kudos to you for getting her out of your home. I don't blame you for how you feel, although this is a sounding board, and we do vent a little. What you did was a very difficult act of love, although you feel bad about it. Don't. Much luck to you, and bless you and your family !

Mar 12, 2011
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Addiction is NOT a choice. It's a condition.
by: Patti

Drug dependency develops as a result of multiple factors -biological, psychological and sociological. In other words: genetics, emotionally-driven components, and evironmental factors. EDUCATE YOURSELVES PEOPLE! THere is NO excuse for this IGNORANCE. "That BS commonly peddled:"There's just nothing more you can do, I'm afraid, but take care of yourself" This should read, "GET OVER YOURSELF AND BE ACCOUNTABLE"...GET PROFESSIONAL HELP...FROM A VETTED CLINICIAN, MOM.

ADDICTION IS A FAMILY-BORN ISSUE/CONDITION. If you can manage to get yourselves on the internet to post these pathetic comments- comments serving stigma and comments serving to increase addictions grip on individuals and families, then, you CERTAINLY are capable of R-E-A-D-I-N-G current evidense-based information. EDUCATE YOURSELVES ON WHAT ADDICTION IS AND WHAT IT IS NOT...for all our sakes!

"Get Thyself" to a professional, mom!You need help making behavioral change that will serve your daughters acceptance of recovery-purposed treatment. Her recovery is not just "on her"...It's on you, too. Whether you're brave enough to acknowledge that reality or not, doesnt make it any less true. You want an example of choice? Here it is: A mom giving up on her chronically ill daughter. Shame never looked and felt so miserable. May God forgive you if you choose to continue to do what you been doing instead of seeking the kind of help and support that will serve your daughter's health and life... and your's too. Attend a CRAFT meeting, (Community Reinforcement and Family Training)...look it up...find out where you can get trained so you can start doing right by your daughter and yourself! God help you!

Mar 11, 2011
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You can.t do it for her
by: Anonymous

If she won't help herself you can't help her either,she might be better helped by a stranger in some rehab,and there are plenty of them out there. You need to pray for her and give it to God knowning you have done all you can,and get on with your own life,you have the right to peace and happiness, so whether you spend another few years trying to help or stop now the result will be the same only she can take control of her life,addiction is a choice, and when the desire for a better life becomes stronger than the desire to be a addict,she will change.I know from experience, I have seen it many times,all the help I gave only to be misused and abused and only hurting myself. This also means she might end up in prison or dead-you can not stop it and its not your fault-take care of you and also when she realizes shes responsible for herself, and your not her door mat anymore it might just be what she needs,do not enable her anymore your only prolonging her recovery. She has to go threw the storm not stay in it. Good Luck

Feb 05, 2011
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you need therapy, denise
by: Patti

The level of anger and contempt you comfortably project, and direct at your daughter, is, more than likely a product of ill feelings you have carried your entire life. when a parent parents an infant through development into adulthood with an unhealthy attitude/energy mood/personality dysfunction often "show up" in the offspring. While parents are not responsible for the drug using choices of their children...They do unequivocally "influence" the coping skill set in them...AS IN: whether or not a Son or daughter is likely to cope via a patterned response to their own negative emotions by self medicating/numbing their feelings, is related to how WE, as parents, modeled our own coping skill set. ACCOUNTABILITY. Parents, whether its acknowledged by the parent or not, impact the decision making of their children.

For too many reasons to list here...YOU need treatment by a vetted clinician/therapist in order to address your own emotional dysfunction. Until you work toward balance of perspective and emotional health for yourself, your daughter will continue to be at a huge disadvantage when it comes to recovery for herself.

Jan 23, 2011
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YOUR DAUGHTER
by: Anonymous

I am your daughter. Or I should say I was your daughter. Reading all that you wrote really hit home for me. I treated my mom just like your daughter treated you. I was not myself - the meth had complete controll over me and the decisions I made. I had a son who was 2years old at the time all this was going on. I didn't even care for him-all I needed and wated was my pipe&my meth. I was making money off the meth and smoking it so to me my life was perfect. That was five years ago ;-) My mom sent me to rehab five(5) times. Not once did rehad help me. It was when she kicked me out of her home and she called defac on me - took my son. And said "The Hell With You." My father steped in at that time and took me to sign up for the military. I was so messed up I just went with him to get everyone off my case. Well, it's been five years later and I love my job serving the US. My mom,son and I talk everyday. I send her money to take care of my son who is now 8years old. He spends the summers with me. I am working hard at getting my life together. Each year I see it getting better. There comes a time to where your daughter has to make her own chose. Kick her out of your life - and pray she sees the light.

Jan 19, 2011
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Our Biggest Mistake...
by: Don

Hi Denise,

The biggest mistake we make is to expect healthy behavior from unhealthy people. And that's on us; we can get just as sick trying to control what they cannot control.

It turns out that the best thing you can do for your daughter now is ALSO the best thing you can do for yourself -- STOP trying to control the uncontrollable and demonstrate healthy decision-making. It is healthy decision-making for you to get help and make positive changes in your life...

It helps to think of it not as "leaving her on the streets", but as "showing her the way" by getting into recovery and getting your OWN life in order. Your situation may call for professional help...and it most certainly calls for you getting into an Alanon or Naranon group and detaching with love.

If you want, you can let her know if she does certain things (goes to treatment, gets aftercare counseling, goes to 12-step meetings and gets well) you will be there for her. Then go set up a place of healing so she will have some place to land when she falls. But offer support ONLY for recovery-oriented decisions, not for addiction-oriented decisions.

Blessings to you!
Don

Jan 14, 2011
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Leave Immediately!
by: Kathleen D. Cone

Leave Immediately! Do so when your daughter is not present ~ take the animals with you if you can! Or remove them to a no-kill shelter. If you have no means with which to live.. look for an abuse shelter or halfway house. They can instruct you as to what to do. If there are no abuse shelters where you live or for some reason that is not possible. Contact churches in your area to find out if any of them have programs to help relocate you. It sounds like you may have some source of possible income? You might also consider contacting 'the love of your life' to see if that person is still single and willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. If you have friends or other family that might also be an alternative. Whatever you do.. simply leave and go some place where your daughter cannot find you.

Then get counseling for yourself to address the reasons you allowed yourself to stay in such an unhealthy and dangerous situtation in the first place. Find work if you are physically able and begin to finally live!

Warn other family members of the situtation so that they do not take her in. Let her make her own choices and suffer her own consequences. It may be her only saving grace.

If necessary and you find you need help to protect yourself from her.. have her arrested if possible to give you the time you need to gather your belongings and escape.

Do not allow her back into your life until she has enter a rehab program and stays clean for 2 or more years.

those are my suggestions
*Kathy

Jan 13, 2011
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IT'S TOUGH TO BE TOUGH.
by: Kathie Grace

I went to something similar,, My children and grandchildren took over my home. There were drugs, acohol, they stole my car and wrecked, payed me no money, kept the house filthy, I worked 5 days a week. I had rules that they didn't keep. I was depressed all the time, and nervous, finally I just left everything and went and got a room for 525 a month. I have an apartment now, am much happier. You need to do the same thing, get out, it will save your sanity and maybe your life.

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