My brilliant 24 yr old son is lost in his own reality

by Elaine
(New York)

My son is literally brilliant, talented and good looking but he also is depressed, riddled with anxiety, angry, and lazy. He does the most inappropriate things and has no respect for anyone's private space or possessions. He has been this way for 8 years. After almost destroying me mentally and emotionally I made him leave home 3 years ago and I haven't let him back in BUT he is still very close, constantly coming to me in despair, begging for cigarette money, a place to sleep, food, and compassion. I have tried everything in the world to help him but nothing works. He is at his worst, he looks terrible.

I just decided to end the enabling. I sent him a text and emailing indicating that I AM DONE! I am sure he won't believe me and come around soon. I need to stick to this but its going to KILL ME! He will make it so I have to call the police on him. I am so mentally exhausted and drained I want to curl into a ball and disappear. I didn't have a child to be in this world and be miserable. It hurts too much. I am so afraid that he will end his life because I was the last support line for him. He begged me not to do this and he begged me to love him and hug him and be there for him but I always did that and it didn't work.

God help me get through this. I'm praying that there isn't something else mentally wrong with him because I really feel there is and if there is I should not be doing this it all.

He has seen 2 psychiatrists and they both diagnosed him with depression and anxiety only. He cried to me for help sometimes but 2 minutes later he does something so crazy (like put out a cigarette on my dresser)?? Its crazy. Any advise? Please? I can't believe how low and desperate I feel now.

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Jul 10, 2017
Getting help
by: Don Carter

It could be "Asperger's", except that they took that diagnosis our of the DSM 5. It no longer exists. It is doubtful that that is it, for a couple other reasons... First because this started in late teens years and early adulthood (8 years ago). Secondly, this little bit of information we have here would fit with many other clinical labels as well.

My recommendation is to let your son know you are not willing to help him unless he see's a professional for an evaluation and follows their recommendations.(Try to find one who knows about addiction as well as mental health) Tell him you will help him IF he is doing what the counselor says and helping himself. But that you will not support him in anyway if he ignores the problem or refuses to follow recommendations. If he is truly brilliant he will respond to this, but only if you stand behind what you say!


Jul 09, 2017
Your son
by: Anonymous

Everything you say screams out Aspie to me (Asperger's Syndrome). It's a helluva problem but can be moderated. Find an Asperger's expert and let him sort your son out.

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