My brilliant 24 yr old son is lost in his own reality
My son is literally brilliant, talented and good looking but he also is depressed, riddled with anxiety, angry, and lazy. He does the most inappropriate things and has no respect for anyone's private space or possessions. He has been this way for 8 years. After almost destroying me mentally and emotionally I made him leave home 3 years ago and I haven't let him back in BUT he is still very close, constantly coming to me in despair, begging for cigarette money, a place to sleep, food, and compassion. I have tried everything in the world to help him but nothing works. He is at his worst, he looks terrible.
I just decided to end the enabling. I sent him a text and emailing indicating that I AM DONE! I am sure he won't believe me and come around soon. I need to stick to this but its going to KILL ME! He will make it so I have to call the police on him. I am so mentally exhausted and drained I want to curl into a ball and disappear. I didn't have a child to be in this world and be miserable. It hurts too much. I am so afraid that he will end his life because I was the last support line for him. He begged me not to do this and he begged me to love him and hug him and be there for him but I always did that and it didn't work.
God help me get through this. I'm praying that there isn't something else mentally wrong with him because I really feel there is and if there is I should not be doing this it all.
He has seen 2 psychiatrists and they both diagnosed him with depression and anxiety only. He cried to me for help sometimes but 2 minutes later he does something so crazy (like put out a cigarette on my dresser)?? Its crazy. Any advise? Please? I can't believe how low and desperate I feel now.