by What If
I know that underlying all this pain is a joyful world of celebration and love. Why does it keep disappearing? I feel alone. I am alone. I take care of the same parents who are now elderly, even though they emotionally abandoned me when I was young. I have nothing to show for my life. I spent most of it doing nothing but trying to feel loved and not empty! But the emptiness always returns. I start to dislike the people I grow closer to. I wonder if I am deeply disordered. I need to work but I don't ever have the energy!