I've been helping or enabling my grown sons for several years now and don't know how to stop!
I have five grown children, four from a previous marriage. 2 daughters and 3 sons in that order.my oldest daughter seems to be fine with a good marriage and two grown daughters that are doing fine.
My second daughter is having problems in her second marriage and has left him in another state and is living close to me now. She has health problems and has been on many drugs due to having her Spleen removed after her husband hit her in the side with his car!
My two oldest sons are out of work and are living in a house ,rent free that my husband bought so they would have a place to live and I wouldn't worry so much! The youngest Son is ours together and douse ok usually however he is on unemployment right now.
This problem with the three middle kids is what is getting me down and causing marriage problems! I keep trying to help them with phones and phone cards and money for gas and sometimes food as it breaks my heart to think that they are going hungry!
I have a very hard time stopping myself from doing things for them and my husband gets very upset because he works hard and feels like he's having to support these kids who are in their 40s and should be taking care of themselves! I get very depressed and feel like running away and disappearing from everyone!
I love my husband very very much and feel like it's my fault that my family is so messed up! I've considered suicide but I know that would only cause my husband more pain and I can't do that to him! How does everything get so messed up? I wasn't brought up to turn my back on family yet everyone says that I'm enabling my adult children to be the way they are.
I know there are Drugs involved as well as alcohol and DUI'S...half the time I can't talk to them because their such a mess! With anxiety and anger! I need help and not sure where to go to get it.