I KNOW I AM IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE WHO SUFFERS SEVERE ABANDONMENT PROBLEMS. He is in total denial but i feel all the affects of his behavior and lashing out so fourth and so on. However in trying to research im wondering if i may also have some issues with abandonment that i put up with such behavior and im financially strapped to him because at this point i cant go it alone.This is just up his alley, he know this and withholds every type of support he can emotional, physical friendship he has totally abandoned me except financially. Im hurting and realize his problem but i care for him. Im trying to make positive changes in my life i dont want to leave him but i feel like im enabling his crap. Im scared because i know he would rather leave me than deal with these issues.

Confused and hurt

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Dec 17, 2011
hurt & confused
by: Anonymous

Don thank you for your comment, I'v decided to stop wondering about him and just focus on myself. You can lead a horse to water but can not make him drink, he must go it alone and find his own way even as well as I do. I will check out the recommended sight for certain, ive' been looking for support groups but have not found any that really fits my needs in person. Again thank you for your comments

Still hurting but no longer confused

Aug 30, 2011
It is scary...
by: Anonymous

There are two things to research in order to answer your question.

First there is the old saying, "Whoever you are in a relationship with says as much about you as it does them". (it's old to me anyway)

Second, if you find yourself wondering about a question that pops into your mind...then it is usually wise to take the question mark off and put a period there then turn it into a statement. In this case... It's me AND him...Try that statement on and see if it fits.

If it does fit then remember the only one you can change is yourself and we usually need help with that...either a support group or counselor, clergy, etc.

You may want to check out the Recovery Oasis here at (second link from the top on the left panel). We are building an online recovery support community for just this purpose. You will find lots of resources, interaction, classes, and safe, compassionate people there.

At a minimum keep coming back here and let us know how you are progressing!

Blessings and Best wishes!

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