I'm an Enabler and I'm going to do something about it!
My 23 y/o son moved back in with my husband and I last year after he lost his job at a grocery store for buying beer for an under-age co-worker. Unfortunately, we didn't write up a contract of expectations and boundaries.
Soon after my son moved back in, we found out my husband was terminal with brain cancer. He passed away five months ago. He is gone now and I'm trying to keep it all together. My son stays up most of the night playing computer games (and drinking) and sleeps in until two or three in the afternoon. He does not contribute to the household financially or otherwise. I constantly pick up after him and really am starting to resent him. He has not been looking for work and thinks he's too good for fast food jobs.
I ordered some books on enabling. I am encouraged to know there is something I can do about my own behavior that will hopefully help my son.