I want to change this but I find myself giving in
I have a 38 year old middle child, a son, who has been addicted to drugs for ten years, has been in jail possibly more than hes been out, and has never been able to hold down a job for very long. He has a long history of getting involved with psycho women who he has a hard time letting go of. This most recent woman even stabbed him. He doesnt have a drivers license, yet he manipulates me into letting him drive my vehicle. I have been told by a judge in another county that if he catches my son driving a vehicle in my name, he will see that I go to jail.
My son at times has a big heart, and his words reflect that, but his actions does not. He does not respect me or my rules, and I know it is because I always back down. I feel that I am afraid of the backlash if I cut him off, and I fear for his very life if I cut him off.
I dont know what to do, I am at my wits end. I think 20 years is long enough to take care of someone who should be taking care of themselves. I feel guilty for enabling him, and sometimes feel because I did this to him, I am responsible for continuing to help him, yet I know if I dont stop he will never take the steps he needs to be independent of me...(until I die and he has to)
I am 61, on disability, and
I am tired.