i stopped enabling my 45 year old son, who is addicted to meth.
I am a 65 year old mother of an adult son, and adult daughter who has blessed my life with 3 grandchildren. I am disabled, and physically unable to respond efficiently as I used to. I am also caregiver to my 88 year old father. My son has had a hard childhood. I was deeply involved with the social and Legal issues of the 1960s. I raised him to question authority, and actively pursue peaceful activism. I moved to my hometown close to my parents, realizing that I needed help raising my family. I never hand support from their fathers. My hometown did not embrace my culturally mixed children as I expected. I also landed a good paying job with benefits in our small town's law enforcement agency. At 12 years old, my son's rejection of this change became very difficult. At they eye of 14, was shot by one of his "friends", and lost sight in his left eye. He became angry and rejected attempts of family efforts to help him. This is the source of my guilt. I was unable to help him deal with all the conflicting changes, that should have helped him. Now, at 45, he has spent more time incarcerated than free. The bulk of his legal issues involve drugs. Meth has been his drug of choice despite numerous painful attempts too get straight. I have tried too help,by taking him in too "start over" for 30 agonizing years. Asset my health declines, I'm aware of becoming vulnerable....a condition I'm having trouble accepting. But his latest actions have become unbearable. He had an overdose recently, jeopardizing his sister and her family's health ancestry welfare. I feel that I longer have the ability to help him. He is VERY vocal about all my failures as a mother. I feel that it is time for me to stop enabling him and have advised him that he is no longer welcome here until gets straight and becomes self sufficient. He is an intelligent, loving man when he is straight. But I fear that his present and reoccurring condition is such a strain on my spirit, that I'm feeling trapped and unable to maintain my own life. I have closed the door to him. I believe that he has become so distorted, that he has lost touch with reality. Our legal system fails this kind of issue, and so he has become like many people, homeless. This nightmare come to an end on my mind because I have chosen to stop communications with him "until the time when he is straight, and self sufficient". This is so hard. I love my child with all the instincts a mother can have, yet in his eyes, I have, again caused him to be homeless. I'm exhausted, am will close now. But I would welcome input from anyone in this kind of situation. Is there hope for him? Is there a better way to handle this? Sincerely, Mary