I am trying to understand how my family break up has affected me in my adult life and why
My parents split when I was 12 years old. I was forced to remain with my father and to look after my then 5 year old brother. My father was a volatile angry little man with a huge chip on his shoulder. He was very intimidating and verbally violent although he never hurt me physically. He drank heavily and I came to the conclusion many years later that he may have been a alcoholic. He treated with me with scorn and derision said I would never amount to anything and that all women including my mother were no better than prostitutes!
I escaped into art and still paint now with some success. I have been a driven man all my life and never satisfied. On my headstone will be the words he was a happy man but he never knew it! I have had the support of a marvellous wife and have three children and six grandchildren. I am insecure, worried, restless, insomniac, frustrated and feel that time is running out in which to be a success in the art world. I struggle to concentrate and my memory retention is nil.
Because of my insecurity and drive I have been very successful in business to Director and GM level and run three of my own business's. I feel that on the creative front I am held back and cannot find my style or niche in my work so I thrash from one course or tutor to another for years. Yet I have sold my work and everyone is very complimentary.
I am currently reading The Van Gough Blues by Eric Maisel and so far it scares the hell out of me because I recognise so many issues and yet never thought of or saw my self as a depressive person.
Click here to post comments
Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to The Iceberg Discussion Forum.
Start a Video Conference with Don or Angie
We try to be available for TeleMed calls as often as possible. We are also very busy working with clients so it is not often that we will be available. If you have trouble catching us online for a Free 20 minute video conference, please make an appointment for your consultation above. If we are available, please enter the waiting room below. We will be notified and join you as soon as possible.
(When indicator is Green=Available, Red=Busy)
Or Visit Us on Facebook!