by Becky

At the ago of 8, I came to the US with my father and siblings. My mother stayed in behind with her mother. At that moment, I felt some degree of abandonment but thought I would be fine because I had the love of my life with me, my father. Little did I know that the person that I loved the most in the world would abandon me as well. He became a different person. I grew up in strange homes at the mercy of strange people.

I always believed that despite the hardship I had endured, I had turned out to be a "normal" person. But that's not true. I've been living a lie. I don't feel normal and I need help!!!!!!

My father passed away a few years ago and my life has been in shambles ever since. I drink depression pills, but even those don't seem to work sometimes.

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Nov 07, 2011
by: Don Carter

Hi...I need to know what kind of pills you "drink". If they are the wrong kind then that must be addressed before anything else...

If you jump right into trying to heal the pain, that hurts...and if you only know one way to feel better when you hurt then you will be driven to use that way after each attempt to heal. Then you get stuck in a vicious cycle... so again, right up front, what are the names of those pills??

No one will judge you (Lord knows most of us have been there!) but if you really want help we will tell you what you need to hear...if you are really ready to hear it?


Nov 03, 2011
by: Lisa

Journalize your thoughts. It helps to process your feelings and move on from where you are stuck. Helps to put these chapters in compartments to make room for new.

I've been stuck, and than I spent 2 years taking anti depressents, crying for what felt like years, dwelling on the past events, absent father, that I couldn't change. Rather than repairing my own soul and making the best of my life.

Its easy to get a prescription, and by no means, am I trivializing it. There are times its needed. And I needed it myself. There are some that need it throughout their life to manage and balance.

Its hard to move beyond what we know. To venture to a new area we didn't see for ourselves. Takes time to repair ourselves. Band aids only last for a short time. Takes hard work to transform ourselves into what we are meant to be. Especially, when we feel alone with no understanding what the steps should be to get us there. Overwhelming.

I empathize with how you feel right now. It does feel dark and lonely. To feel such heavy sadness. Remember, there is a light even when you can't see it.

And, believe in yourself that you have the strength to stand in the sunshine again. And actually feel the warmth on your face.

Every day is an opportunity to strengthen yourself. Actively, cancel negative with 2 positives. Some of feeling lost, is missing tools that were not taught to us. Manage to find a new tool each week. Starting to read this website is a great first step. It was an actual title and understanding of what I have tried to figure out for a long time.

Journalize and read to learn. Learn how to get to what you envisioned you wanted your life to be. Invest your time, in bettering you, your tomorrow, and your life.

Engage in the world around you. One step at a time. One day at a time. Encourage yourself to surround yourself with positive and healthy relationships/friendships.

Actively measure the time you are willing to invest analyzing what can't be changed and starting a new path on the chapters that are waiting for you to participate in. Both are important. We must repair, but its ok to start new while repairing.

I promise you the time it takes to become the authentic you is worth it. You come into the light with strength you have never known. It will be you, responding to posts to offer understanding and tools to help others.

You are not alone. :)

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