Family Intervention

by Anita

My older brother who is now 53 went through a divorce after 7 years of marriage 20 years ago! He has lived at my parents house ever since and pays pennies for rent/food ($300/month) He has a good union job, makes 50K year and has nothing to show for it other than $6K in credit card debt, he is an alcoholic & a closet drinker and drinks at least a 6 pack a day, he smokes and wastes his money in the slot machines.

About a month ago, he had a breakdown and was taken by ambulance to the hospital. His blood alcohol level was through the roof! He was admitted to rehab for 1 week and from there went to a longer term facility for 3 weeks of sobriety and counseling.

The family, Dad and 2 brothers and his girlfriend (GF) of 5 years all agreed that he cannot live at my Dad's when he got out as that environment will set off triggers and he will revert back to his old ways. My youngest brother was instrumental in organizing his 3 week program. I think he is a ticking time bomb! Other brother not too involved.

He lived at his GF the first 2 weeks and visited Dad 2 -3 times, never staying the night. We all thought that he had moved in with his GF and her 2 adult kids (28 & 30 and a new baby) and that he learned he had been making a lot of bad choices.

This past week he went back to Dad's, stayed 4 nights and gave him $$ for rent! When Dad said the money should go to the GF, he said No, this is my house. Now we are all confused, worried and concerned.

We have a good relationship, he call or texts me weekly. He sent me a text last night asking me why Dad thought he was living at the GF's. So now, I feel I have to have a heart to heart talk with him and let him know how we are all feeling.

I should also mention our Mom passed way suddenly shortly after Father's Day last year so this is a really tough month for all of us. BUT, it cannot be his excuse to go back to drinking & gambling.

I need some advice on how to approach this, one side of me wants to tear a strip off him and the other wants to have a conversation about his choice to live at GF or pay a lot more $$ to stay at Dad's.

We may have no choice but to sell the house and move Dad (81years) to a home so my brother no longer has that as an option, he would have to figure out where he will live.

I live 7 hours away from this mess but know Mom would not have let him move back in the house!!

Patiently awaiting your thoughts.

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