(new york city)
I am the child of an alcoholic. Growing up, I wasn't strong enough and didn't do anything to try to stop my mother from drinking. In fact, I contributed to it by making her drinks, cleaning up after her and making sure she got to bed safe. When I grew up, I grew to hate alcohol and people that drank..even casually. Ironically (or maybe not), I'm in a relationship with someone who thinks he's an alcoholic. He has stopped drinking but was doing so, on the weekends, for 3 years of our relationship. He would drink mostly on the weekends with his friends and many times with me. We would go to bars, at his request and he would get shit faced. I would have 1 or 2 but would spend 99% of my time worrying about him. At the end of the night, I would carry him to the train, hold his head while he puked and everything else that goes along with a drunken night. The whole time I would be thinking about my mother and how again, I'm failing to say/do anything. I don't know if I was making excuses for myself when I told myself "it's only on the weekends," or "It's his life."
Then one day he tells me "I think I have a problem." And once again, I completely failed, I let it happen, just like I did with my mother.
I was wondering if there is therapy for enablers to not be enablers anymore. I don't want to fail anymore. Thanks.
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