Enabling Behavior -- Continuous Financial Rescuing

My son, 47 years old, can't seem to take care of himself. He continuously loses jobs, apartments, etc., and I always go to the rescue. He neither smokes nor drinks. No matter what I suggest to him, he will act, but later needs rescuing again. I continuously told him I will not always be able to assist him, but I think he neither listens nor cares! I have to let this behavior go no matter how it hurts. He lives with an older lady who finds excuses not to look for work. So, when I help him, she also benefits. I am retired now and cannot continue this. Because of me, they have, more than several times, depleted my accounts and the results have always been negative. This is driving me crazy! It's like throwing money out of the window! Thank you.

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Jun 30, 2017
stop the madness!!
by: Anonymous

Tough love is all that will work. Cut all money off. Let him suffer the consequences of his actions. When he comes to you for money tell him that you are sorry but you don't have any extra money to give him and ask him what he did with his money.he will find another way to get money!! Tell him that he can go to a homeless shelter and they will help him with a place to live and help him find work.stick to your word and do not give in to him. He is a master manipulater and will give you all kinds of excuses for his behavior and try to make you feel sorry for him!! He will move on to the next victim when he realizes that you are not going to help him anymore!! Stop the madness and do not feel guilty for taking your life back!!

Feb 04, 2017
Hope this helps...
by: Don Carter


I just uploaded our newest presentation on Enabling Behavior. I hope you find it useful:

Enabling Behavior: Loving Too Much

Don Carter MSW, LCSW

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