Enabler who works in the helping profession
I think I do pretty well in my profession in trying to avoid enabling others. I've seen first hand with many of my clients that they must learn to do for themselves - for it to be lasting and effective.
I will say however that I've always been the fighter for the underdog. I am realizing that I can fight for the underdog, that I would rather teach them or encourage them to fight for themselves.
With my family, however, the story is different. I come from a very dysfunctional family background. I am the oldest so somehow I've convinced myself that I must be the caretaker. I have 2 brothers and 2 sistes. Both of my brothers are alchoholics, one is functioning and one is not. The non-functioning alcoholic brother is also a drug abuser. One of mys sisters, my baby sister, is a drup addict and stays in abusive relationships with men. My other sister - though she does not have any addictions - has her own mental illness of bipolar. My father was controlling and a bully throughout our lives as well as an emotional manipulator. My mom was an enabler and is now deceased. Myself, I am addicted to cigarettes and enabling others.
The worst of the ones - my drug addicted sister and my drug addicted/alcoholic brother have allowed drugs/alcohol to shatter their lives. Of course, being the enabler that I am, I feel sorry for them the most. I try to be there for them. I do things for them. For instance, I have been paying my brother's light bill for months now. I am tired of it. I am tired of helping them, being there for them, when they do nothing on their own to improve their lives.
I am at the point that for my own mental health, I have to distant myself from them. Of course, I don't want to be cold-hearted, but I have to back away.
Click here to post comments
Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Enabling Behavior Discussion Forum.
Or Visit Us on Facebook!