Emotionally Abused

This is the 8th year of our marriage. I am quickly realizing that this was the biggest mistake I have ever made - getting married (maybe to this man). On the night of our marriage my husband would not make love to me. I was so hurt. To me marriage was all about sex. To add salt to the wound I found out a month after our marriage that he was having sexual relations with another woman. He was my first boyfriend. I was a virgin when I met him and was keeping myself pure for my husband. Unfortunately we had sex before marriage I fell pregnant and had 2 abortions as I did not want to pressurize him into something he was not ready for. We were leaving together at the time. The second pregnancy was folly on my part. During our courtship I learnt that he had made another girl pregnant. This after my abortions. I told him I was leaving and that he had to marry the girl he made pregnant and be a father to the coming baby. She unfortunately had an ectopic pregnancy and lost the baby. My boyfriend begged me to come back saying that it was me he wanted to be with. I moved on with my life. Met other people and enjoyed life.

I realized he was the one I truly loved. All this time he was declaring undying to me. I gave in. I let him know though that I was ready for serious stuff and was no longer a young girl. Soon after he proposed marriage.

I agreed. I am English speaking and my husband French. We live in an English speaking country though - where he met me. We are from different cultural backgrounds albeit we are both African. I quickly realized that my MIL did not approve of his choice of a bride. At any given opportunity she would complain, find fault or criticize me or anything I did. Nothing was good enough. In addition to that she is controlling and meddles in issues she should not. I watched this at the beginning thinking that she was testing me and most probably was setting a trap to say here you are she is also rude - had I fallen victim to her antics. To make matters worse my MIL stayed over after our wedding and lived with us for 8 months. After the 3rd month I informed my husband of her behavior towards me. Shouting, belittling, constant complaining controlling behavior and just being mean. My husband's response was that I was lying about his mom.

Her antics became more suspicious and weird. Like she would clean the kitchen floors wearing a mask, when I saw her she ran and hid. Coming back from work the kitchen floor would be so slippery as though a wax substance was applied. This would be concentrated in front of the stove, sink and fringe. I was pregnant with our first child by then. One day she was going out with my brother in law. She mistook my husband's car for my car. She literary ran back into the house stating she was not going in my car. Shortly after that my car (being driven by my husband) was involved in an accident. Car was a write off. I was 8 months pregnant at this point and had luckily not gone with him. When I relate such incidents to my husband he accuses me of saying his mom is a witch. I am emotionally lonely. All these years nothing has changed and i am giving in.

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