Dysfunctional Co-dependent

by Jessica
(Southern Indiana, United States)

My parents both left me with my grandparents when I was 5 and for the next 8 years I saw them periodically between jobs and other relationships. It wasn't their faults, they did what was financially more stable for myself and my younger sister. But the emotional scaring didn't stop there. When my parents did finally get back together and into a better place they had no idea how to be parents. More so emotional abuse, name calling and threats, than physical...but those scars are making life impossible to cope with.

I myself am a mother now and very much aware of how I was affected in my childhood by these things. I still carry abandonment issues and they are affecting my relationship with my child's father. No matter what I do it seems as if I'm out of control emotionally. I am afraid of being alone, a single mom.

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Mar 16, 2012
by: Don Carter

Hi Darlene,

You are welcome to post to these forums but they are not meant to be a marketplace. I am sure you understand. And I am sure you have good intentions...but some people don't. So I have a strong rule that advertising for the sake of advertising is not permitted.

If you have an specific excerpt from your website or book pertaining to the topic of the post that you want to share with the person who you are responding to here, by all means share it and identify the source. But please keep the focus on the person who wrote the post and on their issue or topic.

Good luck with your book!

Mar 15, 2012
Dysfunctional Codependent
by: Darlene Lancer, MT

It's understandable that your feel the way you do, given your childhood. There are many posts on my blog, www.whatiscodependency.com/blog about emotional abuse and dysfunctional families. The best advice is to go to a 12-Step meeting for support like CoDA and get some counseling to deal with your emotions and the past. My book, Codependency for Dummies will give you self-help tools you can start to do on your own. It's very difficult being a mom, especially when you didn't get good parenting as a child. Best of luck to you.
Darlene Lancer, MFT

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