controlling depression and feeling lonely

Im now in my 30s and want to stop a bad cycle of behaviour in relationships. I over idolise my partner and can be obsessive, fearing they will dump me at any point and could get extremly jelous if they have a friend of the opposite sex. I want to make my current relationship a healthy one. I am wondering if maybe I have abandonment issues due to my parents not being available as a child.I was encouraged to keep out of the way and watch films on my own in a different room, I sometimes woke up to find my parents not at home and panicked before crying myself back to bed. Lots of lonley hours/ days alone whilst they worked. My step praents wanted me out of the way when they came along. So I wonder if thats why I cling to my partner constantly saying sorry for being over emotional. I have had post natal depression and find it hard to connect with my child. I can sometimes be very happy but its like waves that dip down into lethargy.

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