Buried Feelings Don't Die!

by Frances

I try so hard to distance myself from all the family Drama! thought it would End when Father died, but my own Mother is the Ringmaster of all the dysfunction. I'm doing well for myself and the family seems to find me every time. Simple visits are never simple! They all hate me but when in need they are at my front door!

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Jul 06, 2010
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starstarstarstarstar 		Doubled Edge Sword
by: Frances

Mother has done it again!!!! I have tried very hard to maintain a relationship with my Mother and she just finds some way to Sabbatoge it!

My Adult Daughter and I have a troubled realstionship, and I have asked mother not to get involved, to let me make it right with my daughter, perhaps even counseling. Now Mother has taken sides and of course its all my fault!
Mother took my Daughter and Grandaughter in when Ive asked her not to. I can no longer see my Grandaughter 2ys who My daughter uses as an emotional weapon to hurt me.
Now both are living with my emotional unstabled violent Bi- polor 40 yr old brother who has my Mother pay all his bills and does his college homework!

The last time I saw Mother she was at my front door yelling and cussing at me, after my husband closed the door on her because he'd had enough. My husband has place a Restraining Order on her to protect my emotinal health! Iam torn up inside that I had to do that to my own Mother! But.. feel better with no contact, almost a safe feeling inside. The Doubled Edge Sword is family isnt talking to me and I cant see my Grandbaby!
Jun 11, 2010
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starstarstarstarstar 		Boundaries
by: Anonymous

It sounds like you have been put in the role of family scapegoat, that way every dysfunctional family member gets to point the finger of blame at you and thereby disown the truth about themselves. Your mother could be borderline or narcissistic if not personality disorder then strong traits of. When a parent has these kind of dysfunctions, it seriously affects the whole family. They are good at painting some members white and others black and are master manipulators.

In the interest of self-preservation and to have time to recover and heal no contact NC is a good option and if that is not possible then to put down some very strong boundaries where your FOO are concerned. I hope you have managed to find healthy people to surround yourself with - this is not your fault. A good resource for those struggling with family members with personality disorders/PD traits can be found here
http://www.outofthefog.net/index.html

I hope you find the right way to move forward in your own healing. Lyn

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