Assertiveness Toolbox by Serenity Creations Online

The Assertiveness Toolbox, available in our Serenity Creations eStore, has been created to offer support, training, and tools for increasing your ability to stand up for your own rights without intruding on the rights of others. Sometimes, when dealing with difficult or intrusive people it can be hard to stay assertive.


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Setting healthy boundaries is a problem many people experience, especially those from a less than nurturing family history, we tend to be too passive in order to avoid conflict at all costs, or too aggressive, rigidly fortifying our positions by digging our heals in or having a "meltdown" aka an angry outburst. But with the tools in the assertiveness toolbox you will find yourself more confident and able to stand your ground, resolve conflicts, and deal with difficult people assertively and effectively.

By being passive we invite people to use us like a door mat. By being aggressive we tend to wipe our feet on people as if they were a doormat. In both cases, both parties can come away feeling very bad about such interaction. Yes, even the aggressive person can get a negative emotional charge from walking all over people. Assertiveness is a form of communication that cuts through all the negatively without sacrificing your right to your position. It also respects and honors the rights of others without tolerating abuse.

As you might guess, the Assertiveness Toolbox is a primer to learning about Boundary Setting. Learning what assertiveness is and developing the skills to help you be more assertive is a great way to prepare for learning to set effective boundaries with others.

Serenity Creations Toolboxes include MP3 audios, videos, webinars, eBooks, worksheets, and more. The Toolboxes are downloadable software packages that work on MS Windows PCs. Currently, the only way the software can be used on a Mac is if the computer is running a Parallels Program. We will be offering the toolboxes as a web-based eCourse accessible on any computer that can browse the Internet.

Below is an outline of the tools in the Assertiveness Toolbox:

Verbal Self Defense (Audio, approximately 25 minutes )

How to remain assertive with passive, aggressive, and passive-aggressive communicators. Includes a relaxing, meditative self-hypnosis session for integrating what you learn.

Assertiveness Training (Webinar Video, 38 minutes)

How to be assertive during conflict in ways that allow for conflict resolutions. Some one once said "Conflict is not the problem in a marriage, it's the inability to RESOLVE the conflict that's the problem!"

Five Steps to Better Relationships Using Assertiveness (Webinar Video, 1.5 hrs)

What are the five steps you have to follow in order to have authentic and enriching relationships.

On Becoming More Assertive (Video, 8 minutes)

Author Vicky Carroll shares her insights on things you can do for 15 minutes every day to become more assertive.

Quiet Assertiveness for Introverts (Article, 1 Page)

Do's and don'ts for being assertive and speaking up as quietly as possible. This article is for those who like to avoid conflict as much as possible but don't like being a doormat.

Thawing the Iceberg Videos (Four Video Presentations, 1.5 hrs)

Four videos from Don's Thawing the Iceberg Series. These issues are typically related to the origins of passive and aggressive forms of communication. Awareness of the roots of a problem is 60% of what helps to solve it - taking action on what you learn is the other 40%:

  1. Iceberg Model Presentation (1 video, 30 minutes)
  2. The Invented Self (3 videos approximately 15 minutes each)
    • Family Survival Roles
    • Psychological Positions
    • The Five Drivers and the Safety Net
That's Interesting! (Webinar, 5 minutes)

Here is an excellent technique for keeping your cool and staying assertive. "Four magic Phrases" to respond to anything anyone says to you no matter what the scenario. Gives you time to think and helps to guide the communication into more productive territory.

Assert Your Confidence (Video, 15 minutes)

Our Deep cleansing Rain Video with Affirmations for building confidence. Put on the headphones and watch the video while repeating the affirmations in you self-talk as you see yourself acting out what it looks like for you to demonstrate these qualities in your mind's eye. This is a form of waking-state self-hypnosis for those who choose not to close their eyes. Repetition and Intensity are the most important elements to making this useful.

Self-Confidence MP3 (Audio, approx. 25 minutes)

Self-hypnosis session conducted by Tarek Bibi. This one uses a formal trance to offer suggestions to the unconscious mind. Put on the headphones, get into a comfortable position, adjust the sound to a comfortable level, pay back and let the session play. Do this three to four times per week

Self-Esteem Subliminal (Subliminal Affirmations with Brainwave Entrainment Audio, approximately 30 minutes)

Headphones are required for this audio because of the binaural brainwave entrainment beats. The session plays one tone into the left ear and another tone into the right ear, the mind will mix both tones creating a desired tone for relaxation. After 5 minutes subliminal affirmations are delivered to the subconscious mind. Do this session 3 to 4 times per week.

Listening Skills MP3 (Audio seminar, approximately 20 minutes)

Presentation on how to listen effectively in your relationship, a critical skill on resolving conflict and developing a healthy enriching relationship with your partner.

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