Another abandonment issue,from a 70 year old.

by Julie

Hi, I am 71 and now realize why my life has been so painful. I was constantly abandoned by my mother, for months at a time, she would go on road trips with her single friends. My mother became single again when she divorced my father, I was two. My father married soon after and started a new family. I was abandoned in the home of my grandfather,an alcoholic. A lady barely able to function was given a place to live while becoming my caretaker. I bathed and cared for her. Hello and goodbye Mr and Mrs were the only conversations in the household. I now wonder how I learned to speak English. I was recently discarded by a man I had fully trusted, he ran off with a person with BPD, I know that he is in serious trouble with longevity. I have been diagnosed with PTSD, I am beyond anxious for his/their life. I now know that my mother, my husband,now deceased,and this relationship partner of 15 years are all narcissistic is one form or another. I also know that I am co-dependent. I have joined CODA, but much more is needed as I have been studying for over a year and I do see the light. I wish I could see the light at the end of my tunnel with relief of this pain of devaluation and discarding. I believe that I am now in the middle of a drama triangle. I have no contact with him, she finds me when she wants to tell me of her abuse by him. I know that she is abusing him. I am beginning to isolate myself trying to get away from the pain of rejection again! I believe that I have become obsessed with their well being, this must be like an addiction. I have had a normal life, raised children, a good job, responsible but not any good at making relationship decisions.

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Apr 20, 2013
From a 65-year Old Woman Who Can Relate
by: Val

Oh, my, and I thought I was the only one who still feels pain from the "trigger" can set off such awful memories from childhood. This has affected my relationships (choosing to be in relationships with addictive men with issues of their own that spill over on to my life).

I try and try, and cannot stop the awful memories of physical, mental and sexual abuse...wish I could cut that "old memories" part right out of my brain. I, too have co-dependency issues...but have not actively dealt with them. I thought people my age somehow get past them and I just have too much time to think! Good luck and I hope you and I can get over the hurdles of PTSD, Anxiety and Co-dependency. Not happy about the circumstances, but am glad to have read your comments....they help!

Apr 11, 2013
Amazed At Your Resilience!
by: Anonymous

Wow, I am truly amazed at your resilience. One thing you might want to keep in mind. Since it is very likely we live forever. Just think. You have figured it out in this life time. There's not much more a person can ask for, if you ask me.

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