Am I wrong for doing this?
My husband and I aren't living together - I have an apartment in my name only and I pay all the bills associated with it out of my own pocket, including the internet bill. He is a sex/porn addict. I used to try to police his online habits but since I started therapy I've been backing off a lot more, realizing that this behavior came from an urge to control circumstances that really are outside of my control. However, along with this, I have been realizing what I can control and have a right to control in regards to myself. Part of this has been blocking all porn and webcam chat sites on my network. I don't use them myself, I would block them anyways if my son were older than he is, and I don't want my husband engaging in this activity (or anyone for that matter) while under my personal and private roof. He has his own internet at home for that usage.
My husband is really mad at me now. He says that I'm a b*tch for preventing him from talking to his friends that also frequent his favorite webcam chat. However, the way I see it, if he were an alcoholic, I wouldn't let him drive to the bar in my car, would I? Even if he is just going to meet his friends as he says because I know eventually one thing will turn in to another and he'll come home drunk. It's not like there's not other means of getting in contact with people online besides a webcam chat room and IMHO if that is the only means you have of getting in contact with them they're not very good friends of yours to begin with. I haven't blocked any communication sites like IM and social networking or even just regular chat sites, just porn and webcam chats.
My question is this: am I violating his boundaries by setting these boundaries of my own? Am I really being a "b*tch" as he puts it?
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