Am I enabling my daughter to fail?

I am afraid my daughter is on a path to destruction and I don't know how to help her. I have spent too much time not talking to her about this because I hate fighting with her.

Her grandfather has funded her $100,000 education, since his belief in her stemmed from my belief in her and my desire for her to have a great headstart in life. She is in her senior year in college, the last of four years of successes and failures. She will graduate in 4 weeks, but may fail 2 of her last classes, which means she will not graduate.

She is working too many hours to do well in her classes, but will not cut back on work because of her financial problems. She constantly gets overdraft notices and is paying bounced check fees in the hundreds of dollars. She got into an accident with our car and had to pay a $120 ticket. We are currently paying the insurance.

She broke up with a boyfriend who was overly possessive and controlling of her time, but he is in the top of his class and has an excellent job and comes from a stable family. I am wondering if his possessiveness was an immature way to control her bad habits. Now she is dating a college drop-out.

I am worried about drugs (she never has money but works 30 hours a week at $14 an hour) She has stomach pains and was recently diagnosed with ovarian cysts, which will be taken out after graduation. (previous boyfriend made her go to the doctor)

How do I keep her safe,(alive and healthy), but help her learn how to take care of her self?
I don't want to be an enabler, but I don't want to see her go down in flames.

I hope this is a type of forum that can help.


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