After 17 years of enabling I am now 61 years old, broke, ill and and starting over in life because I was an enabler

61 years old and starting over in life because I was an enabler . The short.. yes, you want to help and that is a good thing. However, when the person you are helping doesn’t change you HAVE TO WALK AWAY.

DONT TAKE THE PHONE CALLS. Don’t allow them into your life or home!

CUT THEM COMPLETELY OFF.

You have to protect yourself and live. I didn’t take that advice.

It cost me 17 years of emotional stress. My wife died of cancer and instead of spending as much time with her I split my time between her and my brother, an alcoholic. I will NEVER get that time back.

I sold my home when my wife passed. I took my life savings and invested it in a business with my alcoholic brother and his son that I didn’t know was an addict as well.

I did that so that both my brother and his son could have a secure financial future.

THE ADDICT DOESN’T CARE ABOUT YOU PERIOD! They will lie and steal Just to get their next fix. Both my brother and his son stole over $400,000 from me and left me homeless. Within 3 months they were both broke.

After a successful medical sales career, country club, living on a golf course and gated community, I found myself living in a mobile home and selling everything I owned to survive, eat and pay bills. From the stress, I developed an autoimmune disease.

it took that hard reality to shake me from my addiction of being an enabler.

God has restored me in less than a year. I have a great job now, a roof over my head and I am Happy for the first time in 17 years.

Sadly, I had to get to the point where I had to block calls and not allow them into my home. I am a family person and after losing my wife (we had no children) my brother and his son were the only relatives I had left. It was difficult to shut the door.

However, a new door opened for me. I have begun to live again. I feel like I did before I become an enabler. I have new, better and healthier relationships. Life is good.

The losses I incurred were MY FAULT. I did not have to experience that. They were a result of my POOR decisions masked in delusion that I was helping. I was hurting myself and the addict.

It is hard but WALK AWAY, Pray for them and LIVE your life. YOU DESERVE TO LIVE don’t drown.

Comments for After 17 years of enabling I am now 61 years old, broke, ill and and starting over in life because I was an enabler

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Feb 21, 2018
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Boy do l understand this
by: Anonymous

My daughter n her husband of 7 years are the best manipulators l ever met.They smile n act like thry r that coolest kids in town.They have3 kids of their own also.They have repeatedly moved in with me..yep the whole kit n kabbodle..and run my bills up n when l get fed up..generally after they have alittle $..then move on..then l have to figure out how not to be homeless.I'm 66 n sick n it takes me awhile to recover..l live on a very small income..they never repay..things go missing..l told them dont go away mad..just go away.Then they drag their tails behind them like lm sooo mean.But if the 3rd time is the charm its long overdue.Hallelujah..go with God..n dont look back..

Jan 19, 2018
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Thanks!
by: Don

Thanks for sharing your experience, strength, and hope! If it helps even one person, then your experience will not have been in vain.

Blessings!
Don Carter

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