Hi. I have been told I am an enabler by a friend of mine. she's had a tough past year- tough to the extreme, and we'd talked about enabling behavior before, so I've been very careful to only help when asked, to only show up when asked, ect.
suddenly this friend whom I've known more than half my life has decided to not speak to me, to not return calls, and I don't know why. I'm willing and open to talk, I really cannot find a time in the past few months where I've been "enabling" I know I've helped her, but, I Feel unfairly accused and hurt that my efforts have gone unnoticed. Im not sure what to do, I feel as if the reverse is true, because she's failed to communicate anything to me about anything...
when asked if things are going ok, she told me things are fine, and yes, Im doing a better job. Im hurt because I firmly believe I am not an enabler, but she has family who is toxic to her and likes to make her think otherwise, for some reason. I don't know how to get her to speak to me about these issues, as I said, Im open and willing to listen, but she's lied to me, she's led me on, and she's just been plain hurtful, and I don't know how to fix this.?