Adult son stealing from family and mother making excuses

by tracy
(Gresham, OR)

I live with my aunt and her 25 yr.old son.Its a very unhealthy situation.The son steals every thing in sight.HE has taken everything his mother has and is now working on mine.No matter what steps I take to secure my things he always finds a way to get to them.

His mother makes excuse after excuse and blames everyone else but him.I came home from a 3 day vacation to find my heavily pad locked bedroom door opened and his mother lying saying it was her who pried it open. My bedroom window was also opened a crack allowing him to come and go as he wanted. When I asked her what happened the story she came up with was so outlandish I couldn't believe she would even think I would believe it.

I told her I didn't believe her story and she flew in to a rage as always when shes confronted. She kept insisting he was not in my room it was her. I happened to turn on my lap top and there the proof was. He had logged on to face book and didn't log out. She still insisted it couldn't have been him.

He has no limits as to what he will steal,a family heirloom worth 600 dollars he traded for a 50 dollar bag of meth,my coats,shoes,tablet,money,the list is endless.Any thing he sees and he wants he takes.Flashlights,tape,candy piggy-banks any thing.

He took apart the alarm in my car in order to get in to that.She knows he steals from me,one of 2 things will happen,either she will say 'I didn't see him do it or she will yell at him,make a bunch of threats she will never do,at that point they tell each other to F off they both go the there bedrooms come out a hr. later like nothing happened.

I tell her until you do something different he wont do anything different,why should he,he lives here rent free,doesn't do a thing around here except make messes that he doesn't clean up,eats everything in sight,sleeps all day,up all night,she does his laundry and buys his beer and cigarettes.Really why change anything when life's so good?

Im so sick and tired of watching the same thing happen time and time again with no consequences of his behavior.What should I do?I really want her to understand she is enabling him to do what he does.If you try to talk to her about it she fly's in to a rage and then tries to flip it on you and attacks your parenting skills pointing out your child's flaws,as small as they may be.I have tried to talk to him nicely,rudely,every way. I have begged him to stop,I have wrote him letter

I've tried everything I can think of to no avail. Also he has been through 2 inpatient treatment programs,no help there either. Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for letting me vent

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Nov 14, 2017
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My son
by: Anonymous

My husband. checked bank account , got a shock when a lot of gambabling sites , came up , was told. By. Bank , he would have to get a police report , for fraud , my son eventually was charged , but still insists , he didn't do it . he split with the gf and pleaded , he had nowhere , to stay , eventually he was aloud for two nights , then money starts , dissapearing , doesn't no anything about it . so I asked him to go back gf its not working , he feels his dad should not have went to police on family . I've asked him repedly , if your not gambling what you doing , with it . I've also contacted a psychic , who s told me he may , not , be gambling but ows alot of money to people . ive helped as much as i can , why do i feel so , emotional when texing him , he tell me he sorry & will try harder to , be better . im wanting to install cameras in the house .r

Apr 06, 2016
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Why do you stay?
by: Anonymous

You are allowing the losses and your poor qualigy of life. You must care for your own wellbeing and remove yourself from victimization.

Mar 30, 2016
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Adult son stealing from family and mother making excuses
by: Anonymous

I left the love of my life after his 25 yr old moved in to finish school. He was going to junior college for 5 yrs and Dad wanted to make sure he graduated.Mean time he gets a stalking injunction from his ex GF in 1 month all my jewelry was stolen along with many household items. Then comes the DUI charge and damaged car then another stalking injunction followed by him being fired from his job. Dad bailed him out of DUI with an attorney fee's and court costs over 10 k. Plus he bought him a car. Then he had felons come over with drugs. I had enough. Dad said he never stole a thing and I made it up. Dad said the injunction was not his fault even though the judge nailed him 3 times in one year. Then comes him not going to school for over a year of living rent free and quitting his job. Dad finally kicked him out. Now we are seeing eachother again. I have not seen the son and quite frankly I am mad as hell. My jewelry was from my died Mom and Daughter along with stuff my Dad gave me. I really cannot stand his son . We have agreed to not bring him up. Yet , I am now not invited to any family events etc.

Mar 17, 2016
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Empathetic
by: Anonymous

I too go through all of this with my stepson who is abusive and strung out on drugs. It has caused an end to mine and my bf relationship. I was the step parent who was blamed for it all...I tried and tried to get bf to see the light. Now I'm gone .

Feb 22, 2016
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Addiction
by: Anonymous

I get shiver 's thinking of what you are going through. Drastic measures need to be taken. Addicting behavior, that is being ignored. Will not make it go away. As you know, it is giving the kid the green light to ruin lives. I would call the police. I would be completely honest with them. This is not about being a bad person, a bad mother or a bad son. He is sick, he has an illness.
Nobody is doing that kid any favors by protecting him.
He is causing havoc in the home, you don't feel safe.
Your sister is mentally effected and she will only progress in an illness, that is caused by loving an addict. A. A. Could help her.
She has to admit her son has a problem first. This is not going away. Somebody needs to step up to the plate. This is a desease that progressively gets worse.
Good luck and God be with you.

Feb 21, 2016
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stealing, addiction.
by: Anonymous

this is awful. i am so sorry that you are going through this.
i will pray for you an your family.

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