Abandonment related to death of sibling at age 5
My 17 year old daughter was such a fun loving, alway happy baby, toddler and preschooler. I had my son, Clayton when she was 3 and he was very sick. I spent the next 28 months caring for him through 6 surgeries and 10 hospitalizations as well as hours of therapy. When my daughter was 5 Clayton passed away. I was determined not to let my girls lose their parents and their brother and felt I was doing a good job. However, I have very little memory of the next 5 or so years.
My daughter started showing changes at about 13 which I contributed to hormones. Now four years later I still don't have that happy go lucky daughter back. She has struggled with depression, anxiety, insomnia, lack of self esteem, difficulty bounding with peers and just feels she does not fit in any where. I took her to four different child psychologists three of which told me they could not get her to talk and she really seemed fine. She is very bright and knows what people want her to say.
After I received a call from her basketball coach that she had talked with some of her peers about suicide I became frantic. She was seen by a psychiatrist and her fourth psychologist. She was put on prozac and has been seeing the psychologist for about a year. She is just now starting to open up a bit. I am struggling with the guilt that I have caused her all of these problems and am desperate to know how I can help her. How I can fix what I have done to her. I would appreciate any feedback. thanks