Wife is an enabler to her THREE meth addict sons

by tired of it

They are her sons from a previous marriage. They are poster boys for all the meth stories. They are not young, 38 to 45 years of age. In and out of trouble with the law, mostly un-employed, moochers, thieves (even have stolen from her, their own mother), and all recently have gotten out of prison for drugs and theft within the past year.

She is not from the same town I am from and I did not know of her sons history. At the time we married she was not speaking to them and I gradually started finding out the facts.

I feel that in the past she was an enabler and since their being sent to prison it started up again. She came down with serious medical problems after we married and she could not work. I shouldered the medical bills that were quite expensive which strained our budget. I recently found out that during that time she was sending her sons commissary money out of our grocery money. I feel she has been sneaking them cash also.

All she ever hears from any of them is hard luck stories. At this time one won't work and two have minimum wage jobs (when they go to work). They only call her to tell her of their problems.

The latest problem is one with young children has no water at his house. He has a 2 yr. old, 1 yr. old and one on the way. His live-in gf is on welfare, food stamps, free phone, and whatever else they give them. No rent as they live in her deceased parents old house.

My wife wants to move their children in with us. The 'old have to save the children' line. I hate to be a hard nose but there is no way my wife can be a caregiver to to very young children with her heart problems. They would love to move in with us but I banned her sons from the place due to their actions and life style. Of course that does not set well with their mother.

I do not know what to do about her enabling. At her age I doubt she will ever stop enabling. She won't even acknowledge her enabling and blames all her sons problems on everyone and everything else. She won't even acknowledge that her sons are still doping.

She recently started drawing SS and has this past week when to her home town and said she was going to look for a place to rent for her grandchildren. But I know, if she finds a place, then all her addict sons will move in. I feel for her but do not know what do for her. Her BP was 191/113 before she left with the 2 yr. old grandchild the other day. The stress of caring for a wild 2 yr old and worrying about her addict sons is killing her.

For my own sanity I feel a divorce is coming for i refuse to live with and take care of meth addicts.

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