Wife abused as a child just left with no warning 'its over I don't love you'

by Colin
(Botswana)

My wife (30 yrs old) is absolutely an externaliser as Don describes-she was emotionally, physically and sexually abused by her parents as a preteen. She 'purges' by writing and then burning her 'bad parents thoughts' a lot. Nearly a month ago, she just left me into a rented place without warning saying 'its over I dont love you we will never be together again' - I believe she is being counselled by a fringe church group, who may be using her for the money she gives them. We have been together 5 years, married three, and have been totally totally happy except for the last few months when she has been in emotional turmoil following a miscarriage and noticeably withdrew from me (physically verbally etc) several weeks ago. Can anyone please HELP ME to know how I can support her as she refuses any contact with me or her family (who are also desperately worried about her strange behaviour). Anger boils from her on the couple of occasions I have bumped into her, yet she has always before been loving and caring knowing that I was also abused tho nowhere near like she suffered. I just DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO to help her heal again but not risk driving her further away - just now I send her a couple of short texts a week, 'nitenite love' non threatening,and one saying i will not abandon her and that I will be here for her anytime - she never replies tho, just don't know if I am doing right or wrong, Colin

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