Why was I effected by my childhood much more than my brothers and sisters?

by Summer
(Nashville TN)

I wanted to ask if anyone else has had this happen to them as well... All of my brothers and sisters are married and for the most part happy. I am the middle child and I guess I took more abuse than the rest of them???? My father is palestinian which is a whole other culture and belief of woman etc. and my mother is Irish and was molested as a child and maybe she took that out on me... I knew that my family was dysfunctional years ago and it seemed that no one believed me (my parents denied, etc) so I moved out at 17 years old. I kinda lived my own life away from all of them.. Well now my mom and dad are separating and I feel like everything I tried to say is coming to light... The problem is, I am still hurting inside and I am afraid that I will never find someone to love me, I want to be with a man and have kids and stuff. Any thoughts??

Warm Regards,

Summer

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Aug 09, 2012
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first things first...
by: Angie Carter

Hi Summer!
Many times we can come from difficult backgrounds and upbrings which can leave us feeling frustrated and angry, even when things seem to get better with one or both of our parents AFTER we become adults.
I know for me, that none of my relationships really became healthy until after I did a lot of work on myself. I set out to build that relationship with myself, becasue like you, I wanted to be able to be in a healthy, loving relationship that offered mutual respect and support.
Prior to doing the "inside" work on myself I did not really have what it took to be in an adult and committed relationship. And I knew that.
So I got busy...counseling, support groups, reading, journaling, praying and then started out rebuilding ALL my relationships. First with myself (I had terrible self esteem and was pretty harsh on myself) -then started a relationship with God, and then revisited and worked on family relationships, developed new friendships, and then started focusing my community. After a while, God blessed with a marriage relationship!
Look around at the relationships you already have and see where they can be improved or make some new ones! Pray and continue to educate yourself on these issues. Healing will happen and good things will come your way :)

Aug 07, 2012
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I know what you feel lyk
by: colleen

I just completed a counselling session that made me realise i'm acting out against my boyfriend because of what i experienced when i was a child. At the time i didnt realise it was affecting me this way. You will find somebody who will love you but you need to be aware of your feelings and reactions so you can control or stop them. Thats what i need to practise too. Good luck.

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