Why do I put myself through this heartache?

by Hopless Romantic
(Michigan)

I can't find a boyfriend or girlfriend and when I do I latch on quickly. like after one day of talking I imagine myself dating then being with them all the time. Picture the I love you and all that and I want them to call me their gf right away and when they don't answer a text from me quickly I freak out I think their cheating or found someone better and I freak out on them and then I lose them and im sad crying feeling helpless alone lonely all that stuff. and when I do find a bf or gf I put up with things that I never even want outta a partner if they smoke weed or smoke cigs I put up with it because its better than being alone. I don't wanna be alone and then i get heartbroken like right now I have a or had a gf then she left me and wants to stay fwbs and I don't want that but I rather do it then stay single even tho I know she may find a gf and then I'm tossed aside like my feelings mean nothing to here