What am I? Codependent /Enabler/Love Addicted?

by Holly
(Douglaston, NY)

I was married to an alcoholic/drug addict for 20 years. We had 2 children. I went through hell with this man, made excuses for him, covered for him in every aspect of his life including his children until I couldn't take it anymore.

I've been divorced for 2 years now and met someone who at the time I didn't know turns out to have intimacy problems. He claims he loves me and I'd do anything for him. Sometimes I feel if he was capable he'd do the same. The bottom line is we don't have sex. He says he has the madonna/whore complex and it's his problem and should step up to the plate.

But meanwhile here I am suffering again with someone who can't give me what I need. Other than sex, we get along on every level and I know he loves me, as I do him. What the hell am I doing? I feel I'm just repeating my codependency in another form! How and why am I attracted to these men? And how do I tell him to go away? I'm very confused. I need advice!!!