Trying to be Superman!

by Faye
(Columbia, S.C.)

My husband was EXTREMLY co-dependent!!! I knew there was something wrong with how my husband interacted with his family and friends but I didn't know what to call it. All I knew was that he ALWAYS came to the rescue when any of his family/friends had ANY problems. Even situations that they repeatedly got themselves into, such as not having money to pay their house payment, but had enough money to fly to Vegas to have a good time and gamble. No matter what problems his family had...they automatically became my husband's problems. If one of his family told him that they were about to lose their home if they didn't come up with a certain amount of money...it was as if HE was about to lose HIS home. His family got to the place where they would simply call my husband, PASS THIER PROBLEM ON TO HIM, and he took it from there. They just sat back until he took care of it. Now, my husband has a big family, seven brothers and sisters. And ALL of them had "problems" at some point or another. Not to mention his mother who often laid guilt on him when he had the NERVE to even attempt to say no to any of them. My husband is not even the oldest. He's in the middle, and the youngest son. He wasn't even raised with the rest of his family. His mother "gave" him to his paternal grandmother to raise when he was four. At any rate, my husband had a real problem, but to him, he thought it was normal. He even told me that I was selfish for NOT agreeing to help all these people whenever they wanted it. I remember saying to him, "you can't save the world". He would actually get angry at me, and tell me i was just jealous. Fast forward to today...eventually the "problems" got bigger, and the same "problems" continued, and now more and more family members(his brother and sister's kids)Nothing like passing on tradition, began to have "problems" too that ONLY my husband could fix. FINALLY, the rose colored glasses came off, and he saw his FAMILY for who they were, and what they were doing. He changed his Superman enabling ways. Oh there were plenty of angry family/friends because of this after all, how dare my husband be so SELFISH as to make grown adults in their 30's,40's and even 60's be responsible for themselves...the NERVE! Anyway, life is so much better now. And i'm no longer dreadful of the phone ringing with someone on the other end calling for my husband with yet another "problem". Being a co-dependent is a REAL sickness!

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