troubled

by henz
(philippines)

my mother left me in the hospital 4 days after she gave birth. consequently i stayed in the same hospital for more than a year. after sometime some generous family adopted me and i been with them for a great number of years, shall i say 36 to be exact. though the family that adopted me is really good and loving. they are living a modest lifestyle. yet in spite of which i have somehow a problem concerning self-esteem, self-confidence, and cant really get hold of myself. i dont really know of what i want in life. it seems that i am assuming a false self. there is something in me that wanted to explode or to come out yet i dont know what it is. i met my real family sometime ago, maybe 2 years now. but i feel that they are strangers and i really dislike them. Is my behavior has something to do with early abandonment by my parents?

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