To Similar Situation

by Kevin
(Utah)

It's now been almost one month since we found out that my wife's two kids were dealing in drugs,
using and selling. One had a relapse about a week ago and they still have not found any work.
It's really hard to know if they are really going out and beating down the street looking for
work.

I have my own job to go to as well as my wife, we can't watch them 24/7. After all, they are adults! My biggest problem is that they have pawned some of our stuff again, I asked them
why I shouldn't call the police and turn them in, they say your grand kids. My point is that is just what I should do, it just might sink in that this is not a game, it's life and you make
of what you want!

I have now stopped paying car payments, insurance and cell phone bills. At least that i know of? I hope my wife lives up to her word and don't pay them at all.

Looking for any type of help!!

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Jul 28, 2010
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MOVING FORWARD
by: KEVIN

I really think that it's starting to set in the minds of the two kids regarding drug use. One of them have been in the hospital twice since 7/24 thinking that he is going to die and he is really scared sh.. less!! On one hand I'm glad that he is feeling that way and on the other hand you have to feel sorry for them of what they are going through. It's all part of the tough love that must be done. I told him his life is on a two way street, stay to the right! If you go back to the left, (cross the yellow line) your going to get hit head on and when I said that he was quick to tell me that the result would be 6 ft under. He is 100% correct in that statement. Thankfully that his mother is starting to see the light that the tough love has to happen not only with this child but with the other one also so they don't end up like the other.

Jul 23, 2010
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Keep strong...
by: Anonymous

Hi,

Tough love means to keep strong, and listen to your head and not your heart in these matters. That's why it's called "tough love".

Our natural instincts for love (especially the maternal instinct) betray us and do more harm than good. Normal family problem solving DOES NOT work against addiction.

Addiction takes over the person who has it just as surely as if demon-possessed. You cannot trust anything they are saying if they are in deep enough to pawn your stuff...and they will hold your grand-children hostage and use them to blackmail you if that works.

Calling child-protection services with hard evidence of the using around the kids is the best approach for that. Most states make every effort to place children with family members whenever possible.

It is a loving thing to do for everyone involved -- even though it is tough. Things are NOT going to do anything but deteriorate if nothing changes.

My prayers are with you,
Don

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