The Role of a Higher Power

by Wendy Parker
(Texas)

I was sexually abused by my father for about 14 years, my mother would set me up for the abuse. Although we weren't religious, really, I must have learned something, because I always knew there was a Higher Power, which I called God, at the time.

"Suffer the little children to come unto me" was always something I remembered. I would pray to that God all the time, to make this stop, but it never did. I was left with an innate understanding that there was a God, but he wasn't there for me, for some reason.

I was a paramedic and now a nurse in the emergency room. I have had amazing things happen, when I was a paramedic, I just "knew" where the house was where we needed to be, I had things "appear" that I needed, when they weren't there. I have been able to connect with people who have dementia etc., just such amazing things, so I KNOW there is something more than we see and understand.

I can see how what happened to me made me be able to understand things a certain way and so it is a gift but there is still that feeling of not being able to trust. I know that there is a Higher Power and on some level I know that it is working for me, but I am afraid of what that Higher Power has in store for me. I have learned that just because I want something, does not mean I will get it.

Everything has always worked out for the best, but I have had such a cost, such a terrible journey, at times, to get to where I am. I am afraid to wonder, what this Higher Power has in store for me next.

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Feb 20, 2010
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Nothing is wasted
by: Cass

Hi Wendy just thought l would add a line or two:-) my childhood was a horror too l was sexually abused from a very young age until about 15,16ish.

I know that the Lord intervened many times when l could have ended up on the streets or worse, you see this is going back a few years and we did not have help at all that I could see.

I could write a book about my experiences. I married someone who was an alcoholic for all the wrong reasons and covered up my shame by secrecy and lies. When in my 40's a friend asked me if i had been abused and that was the start of 'coming out'.

Since then I have gone back to study and become a counsellor as I still have a passion to help hurting people, which brings me to my comment title -- God can turn our lives around and use what was meant for harm to be used for good!

So I hope you will see that used under Jesus "Nothing is wasted".

Blessings,
Cass
p.s. I am still married to the (Recovering Alcoholic:)

Nov 26, 2009
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The Answers Come from Within
by: mxkx

I think religion has made a mistake by depicting God as a far off being that controls everything around us so that we only need to ask for something and He will make it appear.

I think God is a lot more subtle than that, and like Angie said, He doesn't mess with free will. If you pray for someone to stop doing something to you then that prayer is likely to go "unanswered" because that involves interfering with someone else's free will. However, He does help in other ways. He may give you the strength to endure painful experiences, He may grant you the insight to learn from such experiences, and He may even grant you the drive to help others with such experiences through drawing on your own experiences and insight gained from them.

I don't think all of those "coincidences" you experience as a paramedic are really coincidences to begin with. I think you are first hand experiencing the will of God in whether or not someone lives or dies. He may not affect free will, but I do firmly believe that He is the hand behind many of the "coincidences" we experience that lead us and/or others to grow in to better people. And if it is not someone's time to die, I believe that He will do things such as make the right thing pop up in the right place to ensure that someone does not prematurely lose their life due to human error.

Perhaps He heard your prayers so long ago and now, since He didn't mess with the free will of others, He has brought you close to Him through the paramedic field so you can see that even though He may have not seen fit to answer that prayer He is still all around you and He still cares.

Nov 26, 2009
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To Wendy
by: Angie Carter

Thank you for your courage to post and be open about what has happened to you and where you are at now.

There have been MANY people, including myself, who wonder why God does not answer the most sincere and vital prayers. I do not have an answer for that. But I, like you, believe that what I have been through has been instrumental in playing a part of who I am and what I do today.

I also wonder why there are so many people in my family who are still active in their addictions or dysfunctions and I am the ONLY one in active recovery. They all see what a good life I have been given, but they do not want any part of it.

Some of them have died, some have been to prison, some are physically very ill now and I used to pray all the time for their willingness to accept recovery. After several years, I gave up praying for that. I just pray that God's will be done.

In my own personal beliefs I don't thing God wants us to suffer, but he will not stop man/woman from using their free will, which many times ends up hurting another person.

I can understand your fears about trust and doubts about the future. I have them too. I wonder if I have more 'painful' life lessons. I am sure I do, as well as everyone else. I guess it's not so much what each of has to go through, it's how we react to it that makes the difference. Looking forward to hearing more about your adventures!

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